3rd June 2025: The Grand Old Duke Of Torque

It's been a very long time coming, but at last, nearly half way through the year, I've finally finished my first game of 2025.

To be fair, it was probably well past due that I played this, as GTA5 is a very popular game from 2013, that I imagine the majority of gamers have played by now.

I'd just never really been that interested in playing it before, as the PC version is packed to the gills with different forms of DRM, and to play it on console would require me to use the dreaded controller in a shooter game. Urgh.

But when I saw the PS5 version for just £15, I thought I may as well give it a try. After all, it costs nearly that much whenever I go to KFC these days.

As an added bonus, it would actually give the console something else to do.

In my first mission, I was supposed to look after this car

First thing I did when I got free roam was to go explore

Get your classic hammer. Only 500 dollars. Absolute bargain.

Take a taxi, they said. It will be relaxing, they said.<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Take a taxi, they said. It will be relaxing, they said.
(webm video)

Despite my lack of interest in playing it, I was not a complete novice when it came to the game and the city it is set in. This is because, back during the winter period in late 2021, I got hooked for a couple of solid months on watching GTA5 roleplayers on Twitch.

There were a bunch of streamers I watched, like uhSnow, Timmac, Silent, and Kyle. I remember I was watching live during the Mary Mushkin rocket launcher incident, and also viewed events from Wolfabelle's perspective during the huge conflict in Sandy Shores when most of the cop players got massacred.

Two of my favourite characters were Crystal and Ka Chao, who were a comedy double act. But the player who has had the longest effect on me is Pinkchyu, who had a character called Selena. This is because she recorded a song for her character to perform in the game called Delirium, which I like so much it's still in my playlist.

However, I only watched it for a couple of months, and looking into the scene now reveals that most of these players and characters are not around any more.

Shame.

Shooting some fool in the throat

Got to go out of the door, to trigger the cutscene of coming in through the door<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Got to go out of the door, to trigger the cutscene of coming in through the door
(webm video)

What an elegant dive into the water<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

What an elegant dive into the water
(webm video)

There's something on the wing. It's Trevor.

In this game, you play as three different characters from in and around the city of Los Santos, as they deal with all manner of crooked cops, drug dealers, gangsters, and rich assholes.

It can be played from either a 3rd or 1st person persepctive, which is a choice I always appreciate in games like this.

The game I'd played in the past which was most like this was Saints Row The Third. Which makes sense, as that series is (or was) considered to be a bit of a rip-off of GTA when it first came out.

However, while that other game was pretty much just set in a city, here, the location of Los Santos and the surrounding island is large and impressive, especially for a game that came out so long ago. I really do need to go back and have a look at how it ran on the consoles of the time.

Who says I can't park on the grass?

A few lucky shots make me think I might be getting better at aiming with controller<br />Hint: I am not<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

A few lucky shots make me think I might be getting better at aiming with controller
Hint: I am not
(webm video)

Trevor is highly skilled at getting into vehicles<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Trevor is highly skilled at getting into vehicles
(webm video)

Just when I thought this wasn't enough like Saints Row

Unlike Saints Row, this thing takes itself quite a bit more seriously, apart from a few ludicrous moments, that is.

I really did miss the wild zaniness of that other game, especially as the setting and characters here are so dark and depressing.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, in this game is a complete arsehole. Thieves, murderers, even torturers at times, I really didn't like any of them. There was no real love for the dialogue, either, as the characters were constantly at each others throats, arguing, calling each other all kinds of racial slurs, and basically just being dicks to one another. I have no idea why they ended up being friends at all.

This is all in stark contrast to the characters in Saints Row, who despite being equally psychotic, were mostly happy in their own ways and were all good friends who actually got along. There was an element of fun to them, you know?

At the end of this game you can make a choice about whether to let one of several different characters die, or have them all band together to take out their collective enemies. And while I knew the game and story were designed to have them all team up, I really did struggle over whether or not to take out the character of Trevor instead. That dude was a vile, disgusting psychopath, and I wish I could have gone and killed him in addition to the other ending.

Some very observant guards<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Some very observant guards
(webm video)

What's this spindly little dude up to?

Feeling like the Terminator<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Feeling like the Terminator
(webm video)

I've not seen Trevor in a while. Let's go check in with him...<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

I've not seen Trevor in a while. Let's go check in with him...
(webm video)

Of course, as expected, my main issue was with having to use a controller to play a shooter game with. I seriously just don't get why devs don't put mouse and keyboard into console games, when the consoles themselves have support for these peripherals, and the exact same game on PC always has mouse and keyboard support.

For most of the game, I was aiming manually, and was able to just about struggle through. But for the last few missions I'd had enough and slapped on aim assist just to get through it as fast as possible.

I definitely had other issues with the controls though. The main problem was that I kept forgetting that melee and reload were on the same button, but which one triggered depended on whether you were unarmed or had a gun equipped. So in the middle of a firefight, if an enemy got too close, I'd press the melee button and just end up reloading instead, inevitably leading to my death. I just couldn't get my head around it, and kept messing it up. I know it was mostly my problem, but who the fuck put those 2 controls on the same button?

Outside of the controls, and me arguing with my spaghetti thumbs as usual, by far the main problem was how this game handled the vehicles.

Compared to Saints Row The Third, which was so elegant and easy, here things were a right mess. Cars constantly vanished or despawned, or came back after I'd got rid of them. It was a nightmare.

For one example, there was a mugging. I chased after the guy (in my car), managed to get him out of his car, then chased him down the street about 50 feet. I decked him, got the wallet back, then turned around to see his car still there but mine had despawned.

Another example was a mission where I'd got to kill someone in a hotel. I looked around to where my car had been just seconds ago, and it had despawned again. The map said it was back at the safe house, so I tried to take a cab back there but the quest failed, saying I abandoned the mission. I thought maybe it was because I fast travelled, so instead I tried again without the quick travel but it still said I abandoned it. Grrr.

Did someone paint the parking lines over this tyre?

A Zentorno finally spawns right near the end of the game

In a firefight with the guards as we try to steal all the gold

Making our way to my very discreet getaway car

These examples were only the tip of the iceberg when it came to how shit this game is when handling the storage of your vehicles. And it's such a shame, because in Saints Row The Third this was one of the best parts of the game for me. I loved stealing and doing cars up, then stashing them in the garage, and I enjoyed that here too, except for the fact that the damn things kept going missing.

You can click the following button to read about the crazy shit that went on during my playthrough:

Show / hide storage woes

Franklin's Bike

Pretty early on in the game, Franklin's mate gives him a motorbike that he stole. I thought this bike was pretty crappy, and decided I didn't want it.

So I went on a mission to get rid of that thing, and learned you could apparently delete vehicles by getting rid of them, blowing them up, and replacing them in your character's garage.

But this was all before I realised that some of the vehicles in the game are linked to the story and pretty much stick around just like the characters do.

At first, I just started dumping it down the street, but it kept coming back. Then I rode it into the ocean, but it came back.

Getting the bike all wet

But back it comes again

Then I kicked it into the ocean, but it came back.

Just get out of my life you dumb-looking thing<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Just get out of my life you dumb-looking thing
(webm video)

Guess not

So then I blew it up. But as you may have guessed, it came back.

Blow my bike into pieces. This is my last resort.<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Blow my bike into pieces. This is my last resort.
(webm video)

Here it is again, good as new

In the end, I gave up completely, and decided to modify it so it to remove as much derp as possible.

I give up

The Duke O'Death

At one point, while controlling Michael, I came upon a "Mad-Maxy" looking car called the Duke O'Death. After stealing it and escaping from a bunch of hoodlums, I found myself in a bit of a pickle.

What do we have here?

See, I was at a part of the story where Michael and Trevor had been chased out of the city, and any attempt to return would see loads of enemies spawn and try and kill me. But I really wanted to keep this car and get it into storage.

The problem was, Michael's home garage was already full, and I had not yet purchased the extra garage in the city.

For the time being, Michael's safe house was Trevor's place in Sandy Shores, and the garage was empty. So I stuck it in there.

When the story continued, and Michael and Trevor were allowed back into the city, I went back to Trevor's place to get the car, but the garage door wouldn't open as this was no longer Michael's safe house.

Let me in, damn it<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Let me in, damn it
(webm video)

Cue a comedy skit where I had to keep quick-switching between Michael and Trevor so that Trevor could get the car out, then let Michael get in and drive it away. Trust me, it was not as easy as it sounds. Any time I would switch back to Michael, the AI would quickly have Trevor run back to the car and get it in first. And when I switched to Trevor the AI would control Michael and just have him keep walking further away so I would have to run him back.

Finally beating Trevor back to the car<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Finally beating Trevor back to the car
(webm video)

Then I went back to the city, bought the new garage and stored the car. But the Duke O'Death's story didn't end there...

Attack Of The Clones

After sorting out the Duke O'Death issues and returning to Michael's home, I was hit with the revelation that the two cars that had been in his garage were now missing.

Why's the garage empty?

Thanks, game.

I thought maybe these cars might be in the impound, which I had not used yet, but all Michael found there was one of Franklin's cars for some reason.

This is definitely not Michael's

I returned this car to Franklin, but when I put it in the garage it was already in there so now he has 2 exact copies.

Franklin sees double

Trevor had a very funny pink sports car that I found with him when initially driving into the city. But I found this was also gone now the access to that safe house was taken away. So I also checked the impound for him, and only went and found another copy of the Duke O'Death, which was always Michael's.

Trevor gets a free Duke O'Death

After storing this for Trev, I thought maybe Franklin's impound might have Michael's cars, but unfortunately I only found the very discreet getaway car I'd plated in chrome from an earlier mission.

A little later, I'd got a new car for Trevor just as the story had him taking over the strip club. A message clearly stated cars parked at the strip club would be saved. However, when I went back, that car was not there. So off I went to the impound again to see if it was there, but it was not.

And for some weird reason, there was yet another Duke O'Death. So I got this out and went to store it, expecting Trevor to now have two in his garage, but for some reason there were now three.

And another?

Damn things are multiplying

Just what the hell happens with the cars in this game?

18th March 2025: 7R2 + 1

My second run of FF7 Rebirth was long overdue, so over the last few weeks, I've finally been tackling all of the stuff I missed before.

Can you believe that this game is already a year old? On top of that, not only is FF7 Remake nearly 5 years old, but Advent Children is nearly 20 years old. Just who told time it could move this fast?

Right after finishing the game last time, I went straight back to Cosmo Canyon to get the other magnify materia, but quickly stopped playing. My plan this time was to continue that little mission, before going back to the start of the game and going through it again, though with all side quest progress intact.

The Canyon was a region I barely touched on my initial playthrough, and I couldn't really remember what I was doing. So, for speed purposes, I used a guide to walk me through the required quests. I saw in advance that I needed some kind of vibro doodad thing from the Moogles to complete the last quest. I was hoping all along that I was high enough level with the Moogles to buy it when the time came, but when I got to that point, Cloud whipped it out automatically. So apparently, I'd already bought it on my last playthrough. Sweet.

And then it was back to the start, for the beginning of what was, and I can't lie, quite the slog of a playthrough. It really is a shame that these remake trilogy games are such a drag to replay.

In the end, though I planned to do everything possible on normal mode, I ended up falling far short. I didn't even go all of the way through the game, and stopped before going into the Temple Of The Ancients. I felt like I had put way too much time into the game already, and had pretty much achieved everything I wanted to, with the defeat of Gilgamesh.

I just didn't see the point of doing the last few story missions. I'd rather watch a few extra people play those sections so I can get even more opinions and theories about the ending, as that is where most of my enjoyment of the game has come from, post initial completion.

The end boss of my 2nd playthrough appears

Chadley teaches everyone his dance moves

Unlike Remake, where I felt like I got so much better at the combat in the game on my second run, here I probably didn't improve at all. Having all of those extra levels just made the fights so easy, that a lot of them were over before I even staggered anyone.

And where the fights did get tough, like on Gilgamesh Island, I was super annoyed that I couldn't manage the win with my girl Tifa in the party. I kept having to switch her out for Aerith, to get more ranged damage into the mix. Now, I did have to do this in Remake, but only for the Bahamut fight, if I remember. Here, it was a little too much.

My main issue on this replay was all of the little side content. Well, not the side content in and of itself, but more that the game forces you to do a lot of it to get important items.

If there's all this extra content in the third game, like simulator fights, mini games, side quests etc... then I dearly hope important weapons and materials are not locked behind them like in this game. It would be so nice if all that extra stuff was there to let people experience more of the game or challenge themselves as they saw fit, but still leave all of the important items possible to aquire through the main story and basic exploration. For example, it was such a fucking dumb move to lock Tifa's Starshower gloves behind that box game, and Aerith's Ray Of Judgement staff behind the Shinra Manor combat simulator.
Why they gotta be like that?

Well, at least for the foreseeable future, I can move on from this series, and return the poor PS5 to its slumbering place in the loft. Maybe, before part 3 comes out, I'll actually play Crisis Core. But who knows?

Damn, I love these ladies

Farewell, for now, my dear friends

Continuing what I did last year, I wrote down observations, thoughts and questions as I went through this run.

If, for some unfathomable reason, you wish to read them, then click one of the options below.

Flashback -> Shinra 8 Costa Del Sol -> Gongaga Cosmo Canyon & Nibelheim Extra Quests & Mini Games Ending & Thoughts

Chapter 1 - Flashback

I didn't really want to go through the very long flashback again, but if I was going to make sure I'd done everything, I thought I may as well do the whole game.
I noticed this time that someone says that the survivors are being taken away in the choppers, and we see that Red is alive (at least for a little while), and that Aerith is still alive. So does that mean that Barret and Tifa also are still alive in the other copter? We never go back to them.
Ahh, here's that wonderful, time wasting, game play.
Still don't get why those fools don't shoot.
For most of this first chapter, I skipped cutscenes at regular intervals. Not sure I should have done that, as I may have missed some info.
One of the scenes I watched brought up an interesting question: just as Sephiroth slashes Tifa, the door behind him automatically opens. Was this Jenova's doing, as Sephiroth had requested? Or was it Hojo, watching along on a secret camera somewhere? Or was it just Cloud's memory being weird?

Chapter 2 - Kalm & The Grasslands

There's an auto loot option now? Sweet.
So did Sephy somehow manifest without a black robe and help Cloud from the Zolem, or did Cloud unleash some hidden evil and thought that Sephy helped him?

Chapter 3 - The Mines

That Mith Golem fight went very different to the first attempt. Levels for the win I suppose.

Chapter 4 - Junon

Didn't have a lot to do in Junon. Just a few stashes to loot, then one combat challenge I'd only got 2/3 on first try, then the Fort Condor battles, which I'd only completed one of. I learned that one of the updates had put in an option to reduce the difficulty of these games, so I immediately activated it. Even so, I'd only got 10 seconds left when I succeeded in the first mission. Luckily, I went all out offence in the next one and smashed it.
Final mission only had 7 seconds left.
When you rock up to Junon Rhonda warns you not to make a scene, either down below or up top. But then she goes and hires Yuffie to assassinate Rufus? Wouldn't that be making a scene?
Why's Yuffie even in a boat? Is she gonna row across the ocean?
Just found the play log. My highest relationship is somehow Red on 82%, followed by Tifa on 81. Lowest are Yuffie and Barret on 67.
I'd completely forgotten about Queen's Blood, and just found someone in Junon I'd not played before. Absolutely smashed him, even though I couldn't remember what to do. Just shows you it's all about what cards you've got and not skill level. Stupid little side game. But I set out to do everything, so I'd better go and find any other players I may have missed before going over the ocean again.

Chapter 5 - Shinra 8

The end of that little conversation in the ship's hold between Aerith and Tifa reminded me that I'd read Traces Of Two Pasts recently. I really liked it. Well, mostly the Tifa parts. Really made me appreciate how strong a character she is.
Funny that Tifa beats Aerith in QB. I wonder if it's random? Can't remember what happened in my first play.
Oh man, I gotta smash this annoying Felix.
I decided to go against Tifa in round 2. I remember she cheers for Red in the final match. I aint having that. 48-0. Sorry Tifa. Don't bet against me next time.
Then 41-0 against Andrea.
34-0 against Chadley.
49-0 in the final. Glad Tifa wasn't my biggest win.
Holy shit. Then a 55-0 win against Red. It's all about the cards man. Definitely feeling this board control style deck I've quickly slapped together.
The conversation afterward is funny considering that was my easiest win.
Something I missed first time around - where the hell did that bit of Jenova in the cargo bay come from?

Chapter 6 - Costa Del Sol

I put my beach wear on, and then these two whine that I'm not in beach wear. Odd that some script moments from the first playthrough still make it through in replays, even though they don't make sense.
Red absolutely ran wild this time around. Wiped the others out for no losses, with less than 2 seconds left.
I clearly stopped playing QB at this point. Nobody here is beaten yet.
So at Costa, and my first QB match is my first loss of this run, 17-18 against Riana.
58-0 in the rematch.
Maahir 41-0.
48-0 against Dokaccha.

Chapter 7 - Costa Del Sol Area & Mt. Corel

I'd played 102 hours by the end of my first play. Just about to start the Corel ascent and I've added another 17.
I've just noticed on the screenshots I've taken on this playthrough that Square have added the copyright bullshit back into the bottom right corner that was there on the Remake screenshots. On my first playthrough of this game a year ago, this crap was not present, so they must have added it in for some weird reason in one of the updates.
This Corel climbing music never gets old.
I beat some farting dude in QB 41-0 for my next level up.
46-0 against Biff.
Wow. I lost 10-25 against a fucking dog. Then 11-14 on the rematch.
Got a 33-0 at 3rd time of asking. Bad dog. Naughty boy. No biscuits for you.
So Shinra sent a helicopter to help Tifa 5 years ago. I wonder who sent it? Maybe a Turk?

Chapter 8 - Gold Saucer

At least I remembered to put Tifa and Aerith in fancy clothes for their little dance this time.
The 3D Brawler against Dio went quite different this time, now that I've seen how that game works.
Barrett's still not light blue on relationship. Neither's Yuffie, but that I understand.
Is this dude hiding from someone?
53-0 against Wize.
It took reading guides, watching Youtube vids, and a few attempts, but finally got Tifa's last gloves from that stupid box smashing game. Ah, the things I do for that woman.
Interesting, at the third Cactuar Rock, Red is the one that has to strike the pose, and he uses his real voice. Weird thing is, during this playthrough, Red has not revealed his true voice to everyone yet.
And now in reactor 3 we meet the Don who is saying he was forced out of the Gold Saucer? We haven't got to that part of the story yet. What is happening?
Absolutely can not succeed on the final Aerith Cactuar Crush. Can't even get the 1st rank after half a dozen tries, let alone get all the way to rank 3. She's too slow. Can't build ATB. She's bad at dodging. Can't get her fleeting familiar to proc, even though I'm hitting tempest. Plus you can't use spells in this mini game. Horrible.
Sod it. On to Gongaga. I'll come back when I've got some different materia and items.

Chapter 9 - Gongaga

Spent some time mapping northen Gongaga, as many people say this place is hard to navigate. Will do the same for south after some more story.
My companions really struggle getting off this rope.
20-10 against Oscar in QB.
43-0 against Zhijun, in a game where we both constantly replaced our own cards to try and get board control.
41-0 in my rematch against Regina. This deck is doing me good since I've been back in the game.
Why's there a stand specifically for Cloud's sword at the QB table?
So, Red's assumptions: We stopped the whispers from protecting the previous fate, but they are still around because they protect a new fate. Also, he's wondering why Cissnei can see the whispers. Which is a fair question, but lots of people have seen the whispers at this point. Hopefully, she'll be back in part 3, or we get an answer some other way. But I won't hold my breath. There are so many little questions like this that there's no way they pay them all off in the finale.
Hmm. Don't remember that Specimen fight at all from first time round.
So this crane thing that Scarlet brought to the reactor was to try and grab the weapon? Did she not see how big that thing is?
I still don't know why they send Tifa on this spirit quest thing here and didn't wait for part 3. And why did Seph want Cloud to go to the reactor so bad? My guess is that it's Aerith who sends the Weapon to take Tifa, both protecting her and also giving her experience of being in the lifestream, so she's better prepared for when this happens with Cloud.
Another question remains: considering Tifa is so understanding when she wakes up in Gongaga, how much did Aerith know about Cloud back in Remake, and more specifically, how much did she tell Tifa? If Tifa already knows, or at least has an inkling, about the reason why Cloud is not himself, it might explain her actions here. But Tifa didn't tell Aerith that Cloud wasn't in Nibelheim until the start of this game, after Aerith lost her memories. It's all so confusing.
Holy crap. Just found my last weapon for Cait Sith. Hiding in plain sight in Gongaga village. Can't believe I didn't see that before. Just need Aerith's Ray Of Judgement staff now and I got them all.
Let's all jump together.
Oof. My first game over of my return against the Malboro. I knew it was gonna be tough. But had nowhere near enough resistances set up.
Got him on the 2nd go, but I really don't like how it can take party members out of the fight for good. Just like Ruby Weapon in OG, it's a very unfun mechanic.
Needed to beat it twice for materials. Absolutely smashed it in the 3rd battle. It didn't even get a chance to gobble me.
Lol. Completed the Gongaga region intel. I think Gilgamesh is a bit unhinged.

Chapter 10 - Cosmo Canyon

Not looking forward to clearing Cosmo Canyon, with its odd layout, weird gliding chocobos, and all that Gi stuff again.
I'd only missed 2 towers in the whole game, both here in the canyon. And there's the first one unlocked.
Just remembered there was one Gongaga thing I didn't do, and that's to unlock Kujata. Not that I ever use summons. But I gotta do it I suppose.
Still hate this Cosmo region music.
I fast travelled down into the vale to get that tower, now I can't seem to get back out without fast travel as the elevator is story locked. That's a bit dumb.
44-0 in QB vs Ka'dina
Then a 60-0 win v Bernard. Holy shit. That's what he gets for putting me on the wrong side of the QB board.
Bugenhagen is a prick the way he talks to Tifa
He says lifestream is the essence of the star?
Why is that rope on the inside stopping the door from falling inwards?
It's just as much of a slog going through this Gi stuff as it was first time around.
In the Zack world, we're supposed to be in the Sector 5 slums. But looking up, we're under the sector 6 plate. What gives?
Zack and Biggs internal clocks are busted? Does that mean these extra worlds are timeless, like in the lifestream, rather than real places. And why doesn't Zack question Biggs about Cloud and the time frame? Even with a busted internal clock, Zack would know Cloud hasn't left his side since before the Nibelheim mission.
Zack's task was to get Biggs to go see Marlene, and they're right around the corner from Aerith's house, and he doesn't even mention it to him, that Marlene wants to see him?
I didn't cotton on before, but Gi Nattak says that the black materia was made when they claimed the "greatest" materia from the planet and changed it somehow. I wonder if the black materia was originally a holy materia?
At the end of the conversation with Gi Nattak, he says we've been discovered, and we get sent back to Cosmo Canyon. But discovered by who? Someone in the lifestream? It sure wasn't Sephy, as he wanted us to go there in the first place.
47-0 against Robin. Flying with this deck. Hating the thought of having to re-do it when opponents get too tough.
Damn it. I've not really taken note of all the extra materia I can get from the simulator. Just got Kujata after a big scrap, and am now moving on to some other useful ones. Well I was going to try and get some. Only got speed up, then failed to beat 2 grandhorns who kept rooting all 3 members, even though I'm mad overlevelled for that challenge.
Had a couple days off to paint some Blood Bowl shite, came back to the grandhorns with a bit of a shuffled team and set-up and smashed them first time. Now it's back out into the wilds of Cosmo Canyon.
Chocobo glide quests. That third one was an arse.
Just found the 3 characters from Yuffie's DLC. They say Shinra were planning on dropping another plate unless Avalanche stormed the Shinra building? Do you think it would have been sector 5 to get rid of Aerith's mom?
Of course Wedge has got sandwiches. Why's he holding them like that? Why isn't he eating them?
Avalanche HQ sending in troops to take out the President? Interesting. I wonder if they will have more of an active role going into part 3? Also, Mayor Domino is there with a gun ready to get into the action. Respect. Oh, he's not got a gun. Looked like he did during the first shot.
Yep. Wedge went squish.
Firstly, Robochad? Seriously? And also, how the hell did Chadley update him remotely? Can't do physical engineering across an internet connection.
Just played Gears and Gambits for the first time. Why would fighting a muck monster help heal a lifestream font?
I think that was my last tower of the game and my last summon cave crystal thing.
While exploring this place is not as bad as Gongaga, it can still be a bit of a drag finding the right gliding range. Still, found the last Mogstool, and managed to finish it first time, even though I got hit twice right at the beginning. That little cutscene at the end was odd, kupo.
Right. Killed the Jabberwock. And can craft the legendary bait. I was wondering what that was for. Chadley says that Kyrie told us about some monsters in Costa Del Sol? Don't remember that at all.
Tried the second Gears and Gambits. Couldn't quite take the win after a few tries on normal, including an attempt where I only needed maybe a second or two more. I changed up my tactics and dropped it to easy, and smashed it way too fast. Maybe that new tactic may have worked on normal?
Drunk Jessie is best Jessie.
Tried my new tactic on the 3rd G+G with normal difficulty. I absolutely dominate the board, but just can't do enough damage to the main boss in time. Very frustrating that if you do too well and get lots of robots on the board then the main boss just destroys them so fast.
Still took 2 goes to beat it on easy. I was misunderstanding some of the gambits, and sometimes my robots were not targeting enemies when they should. I think I understand now.
Managed to win the last one first time on normal, but it was the first time my own base had taken heavy damage. I thought I was going to lose it right at the end, but snook the win.
And with that, I'm done with the Canyon. At least for now.
Wait, I'm fighting Gilgamesh now? I thought that happened when I went to the island?
At this point, my relationships are Aerith 88, Red 85, Tifa 83, Yuffie 83 and Barret 72. Don't get how everyone is catching Tifa so much, but I am quite low on her odd jobs, so hopefully Nibelheim will rectify that.
Speaking of which, off we go. Can finally put that irritating background music behind me.

Chapter 11 - Nibelheim

47-0 against Turner in QB, and didn't even get the jockey out.
44-0 against Dale. He made it a good game until the last few cards when all the lanes dropped in my favour.
Cannae afford to dilly dally shilly shally?
Surprisingly few enemies on this Nibel mountain climb.
Ahh, the pipes. I wrote down where all of these went last year and what was at the bottom of them. Unfortunately I must have thrown it away.
The Cait Sith section is no more fun 2nd time round.
Though, Cait is way more fun to play since I learned a bit more about him, and unlocked the Moogle Knuckle skill.
And the Lost Number fight wasn't a push over even though I've got extra levels. I think my other characters would have made short work of it though.
I still hate that we have to fight Vincent.
You think the SC4 on Roche means Sephiroth clone 4?
After going through the Nibel story again, I see I've only got the protorelic stuff to do in this region. I didn't think I'd got that far here. Still, I have no idea about what the protorelic quests are here.
So it's just a combat mission? Odd though that the robed dudes are leading us to protorelics. These things have nothing to do with Shinra. Also, Chadley says that whether the robed dudes have numbers or not is a clue to what happened to them?
I just had the strangest thing happen when replaying the fight against the Pyretails. I didn't beat them within the time limit last year, so I thought I'd try again.
I beat them all, but the timer kept running down and the fight didn't end. Then they seemed to respawn, or some other wolves got involved. So I started to fight them, and the timer reset. This time, when I klled them all, the timer continued ticking down, but one wolf remained. However, it would not allow me to attack it. Nor would it let me leave the battle area. So I let the time run down, and the fight stopped at last. However, that last wolf then ran at me and we started to fight, and the timer appeared again. This time, when I killed it, the fight ended within the limit and I got all of the conditions ticked off. What a strange bug.
And now, it won't let me go into the map or the menu. Even after getting into another fight, can't get into the map or menu.
So I can't save or anything. I've found the next set of robed dudes, so I don't know whether to trigger that scene or back out and hope I've got a recent autosave. If my save gets messed up then I'll have to do all this Nibelheim shite again. What a shit show.
I decided to back out and load the last autosave, which was 8 mins ago, after fighting the wolves. Luckily, it seems to have logged that fight correctly. I also now have map and menu again.
Quite liking that there's a submarine dock here. Just a little teaser for what may come next.
Chadley is actually Chadley 7? And Hojo has learned that he's now helping us? Why would stabbing another version of Chadley have any effect on this Chadley? Are they networked?
This door puzzle at the lighthouse feels right out of Resident Evil.
No way, not Brodude! Number 6 hmm?
That's a lot of black robes...
How are the robed dudes even climbing up here when we need a special chocobo?
Did Cloud really just let himself get pickpocketed by the robed dudes?
I'm confused. What did Sephy want with Gilgamesh? He didn't even make off with the protorelic like I thought he was trying to.
That's Nibel region intel all done. And the last cache and chocobo stop completed the map. Now I just got some simulator stuff to take care of. Oh hang on. There's Aerith's last weapon. Where the hell was that? I know it's here somewhere. Oh. Need chapter 12, then come back.
Before I leave, I finally fought Bahamut and Odin. That Odin fight is a pain, having to not take damage as well as dish it out.

Chapter 12 - Extra Quests & Mini Games

Still don't like that Cid was ever in Shinra HQ and meeting Ifalna no less. Also there's no way he would recognise Aerith as Ifalna's daughter after all this time.
I wonder if Vincent will fight a little similar to Yuffie in the next game? He's ranged, but can basically turn into a shadow and dash around the place.
Wutai have bombed Shinra/Midgar all to hell?
This extra Nibelheim mission sounds interesting. A wailing woman in the manor? Lol, Tifa's still afraid of ghosts.
Back down into the basement? Fuck's sake. Shame Cid's not with us, as the whole team would be here.
A female staffer once lived here? Lucrecia reference drop? Wait, could this wailing woman be Lucrecia?
I couldn't get passed the 3rd simulation because I killed them too fast before I could stagger them. I had to use weaker weapons, remove weapon upgrades, ditch materia etc... What a ball ache.
Well, that is certainly not Lucrecia. I'm glad. Wouldn't have made sense for her to be here.
All these Yin and Yang cutscenes that keep happening mid fight are doing my head in immensely.
Finally, it took all the way to the last fight for there to be no Yin and Yangs, and it was a much better fight for it.
Finally! Ray Of Judgment here I come.
Still not a fan of the Shinra Manor redesign. There needed to be a hidden stairway to take you down to the basement. An elevator is just too obvious.
I've cleared the eastern continent and Tifa is somehow my joint lowest relationship. Let's hope some of these extra missions are for her over in Corel and Gongaga.
Yeah Tifa. Put that skum in his place.
Oh god. Still gotta do that 4th relic quest with Aerith.
Jesus. That is the most troll quest of the entire game. Many attempts, with different setups, and I can only just scrape the rank 1. Very grateful that a weapon isn't locked behind rank 3.
Ah fuck. Corneo's back.
There's a Cactuar Crush hard mode? No thanks.
At this point, as far as I know, I've got one mission in Gongaga, the Chocobo races (not looking forward to this), collecting the pirate treasure, and the Gilgamesh mission.
This last mission in Gongaga: Cissnei was originally going, but gets talked into sending Cloud instead. Why didn't we go with Cissnei? Would have been cool to do a mission alongside her.
Hmm, what question shall I ask Cissnei?
I really like Cissnei. Damn it. I'm gonna have to play Crisis Core, aren't I?
So, all the pirate quests are done. Why would all those monsters be the first mates of the pirate? And why would they still be guarding treasure. Odd. The Sea Dragon was a pain. I'd not got any poison equipped to deal with its counter attacks, and Yuffie went down twice. Had to brute force it, but came through in the end.
What the hell is Gilgamesh's little dance? This dude is weird.
Holy shit. Gotta face two summons at a time? How's that gonna work against Odin?
Titan and Bahamut first, with Cloud, Yuffie and Aerith. Titan went down surprisingly easy, but I essentially set Yuffie up to be his kryptonite.
Hmm, Kujata and Phoenix are next. That would mean Odin would be paired with Alexander. Gonna try same team to begin.
Jesus Christ. That was a tough fight. The amount of times they knocked me out of my abilities and I had to recharge my ATB. And then like a plank I didn't even twig that Phoenix would just res Kujata, so ended up having to kill it twice.
Oh boy. Odin and Alexander it is for fight 3. Not looking forward to this. Having to kill Odin in time, while my AI team mates keep switching to Alexander, is gonna be a pain. Tifa's back in for Aerith in this one. I need the speed for all the dodging.
WTF was that? Odin cast Zantetsuken and the fight hadn't even been going a minute. How am I supposed to kill him in that time? It's not like he hit me a lot, either.
Actually what the fuck? Second attempt saw him use it even faster. I don't even think I got chance to hit him once. It was like 20 seconds tops. This is ludicrous.
Nope. Next try decided to focus Alexander instead. Didn't even break one of his arms and Odin's finishing us all off. What the actual living hell is this shit?
Good fucking lord. I again had to swap out Tifa for Aerith to get more ranged. But I managed on about my 6th attempt. What a slog. The continued dodging and evading both Odin's and Alexander's attacks was a nightmare.
Why has the enormous Gilgamesh got normal sized chairs?
Oh fuck this. My first attempt at Gilgamesh has made me think it's gonna be even worse than the Odin and Alexander fight. I'm off to do some other shit. I'll decide whether to come back to this later.
Lidrehl just smashed me 0-24 on my first attempt. I just never had the cards in my hand that I needed.
Got him 54-0 on the rematch. Have that.
So I'm slowly working through the colosseum fights to get the extra transmuter chips, and I've come up against 2 more Yin and Yangs. Here we go with all of the interrupting cutscenes.
So I got the chips that will let me fully level crafting, but I don't have enough materials for any of them, and I really don't think I could be bothered to get them.
In earlier fights, I had to dress up as a frog, and also Yuffie had to take out a Malboro on her own after Cloud got nom-nommed.
Still got so much to do here. QB, Chocobo races, 3D Brawler maybe...
So I'm on QB, and ran into trouble pretty early on with the Behind Enemy Lines challenge, as none of my cards have rear facing abilities. Have I seriously got to put together another deck, just for one challenge?
Got my revenge on the rematch with a new deck, 43-0.
Oof. Fairly easily breezed through to the survival camp QB challenges, but quickly learned all my replacement cards are not really usable in that mode. Sigh. Guess I'm gonna have to make yet another deck.
Nope. Got smashed yet again. And it takes so long to play the game because you have to go three rounds. I guess this is something else I don't bother with. I'm running out of time to hit my anniversary.
According to the map, I've just got the Gold Cup, Monster Of Chaos, and Gilgamesh to do. I think that's all I might do to be fair, and just leave all the extra stuff. This game is just too big, and at times, frustrating.
So, to do the Gold Cup, I have to be a gold rank rider, so I've got to do loads of other races first. Damn it.
Ah, so I get to gold after just one race of rank 2. Might keep going with this rank though, so I can get the hermes boots.
Not quite as hard as I imagined. On to the Gold Cup. Please let Tifa ride.
Holy crap. How did I do that? I came 6th on the 1st race, then managed a decent win on 2nd. But on third race, I was miles behind before somehow finding myself in 2nd place. I fired a bubble to take out Joe right before he hit the finish line, and he ended up down in 5th.
Billy is taking credit for raising Selena, when that bird is from Nibelheim?
After that side quest, Tifa is back in the lead with 96%. All is right with the world again. Next is Aerith on 94, Yuffie on 89, Barret on 86 and Red on 85.
An incredibly close 15-13 win against Vincent in QB.
Hang on a sec. Regina / Shadowblood Queen starts with a fairly powerful card already on the table? Cheating much?
And then puts a strength 6 card on a 1 pip space to begin with? What the hell is this sorcery?
Hang on. She just put Titan on a 1 pip space? I call shenanigans.
I actually finished my initial run exactly a year ago today, and I was hoping I could do the same this year. But this game is just too big, man.
Holy shit. Beat her 58-0 with a chimera strat I read about online.
Vincent with the save, but what the hell just happened?
While I'm here, I've done a bit more mapping of the region. But I'm so bored of this, that I'm just gonna leave the south eastern section incomplete. I think I'm done for this playthrough except to have another damn good go at Gilgamesh. I don't even see the point of carrying on through the temple and finishing the game. I didn't like the temple all that much first time through, and I've seen so many people react to the ending by this point that I don't really need to see it again myself.
I just read you can actually get a ribbon in this game by doing the 3D Brawler, which I still haven't touched yet. I guess I'll give it a go.
This is kind of irritating. It took me quite a few goes to beat Shiva. How long's it gonna take to beat Ifrit?
So I beat Ifrit after about the same amount of time. So why the hell is Sephy not there?
There's a final side quest that only unlocks after going further into the story? Yeah, sod that.
So, just Gilgammy it is, then.
I very quickly realised my first effort was not going to be successful. In the enemy intel, it says you can break his shield, but I couldn't seem to be able to target it. Instead, I read that dispel could deal with it. So I restarted with dispel equipped, and managed to take him out fairly comfortably in the end. I really don't like how fast he attacks any character you switch to, as this made building ATB extremely difficult. But with magnify-heals on both Cloud and Aerith, and prayer materia on Yuffie, someone was always ready to drop some emergency health if needed. I'd also got white capes all around so no frogs for Gilgamesh today.
Odd that he jumps through a portal to another dimension, that he sort-of opens with his sword. Is this a similar thing Sephiroth did when he slashed at the whispers at the end of Remake? And also when he sent Zack through to the other world on the church's steps?
I logged out with my characters in Costa Del Sol. So if I never revisit this save ever again, at least they will have a nice retirement.

Ending Thoughts

As I've been playing through this, I have again been watching streamer reactions to many of the important story moments of the game. Here are some other things I've been thinking about, concerning the later stages of the game:

I've just noticed that when Aerith pushes Cloud through the portal in the church that he somehow gets his sword back. Is that an indication that all these other worlds technically aren't real and are just playing out in the lifestream?
Are there multiple Sephiroths hunting multiple Aeriths through these other worlds? Because Sephy makes it sound like there's only one Aerith in these other worlds "This is where you've been hiding. In a world that has accepted its fate."
So if there's only one other Aerith in these other worlds, why is she separate to main timeline Aerith? Because main timeline Aerith is still active while the weird dream Aerith is also active. Whereas dream Cloud was only active when main timeline Cloud is unconscious.
There are multiple Zacks, and I presume Elmyras, Marlenes, Biggs, Kyries etc... But seemingly only one Cloud. And looks like there's two Aeriths (and maybe a more powerful "lifestream" Aerith).
Also, is that Yuffie in a black robe in one of the alternate worlds that Cloud sees? Oh, it's probably from the ship.
Sephiroth wants Cloud to go through that specific portal - back to the main timeline? Perhaps he's a bit cheesed off that Aerith took Cloud to another world? He clearly doesn't know Cloud has the white materia at this point. If he did, would he still have sent him back to the main timeline?
I wonder if it was at Sephiroth's behest that the whispers drained Aerith's white materia, or if it was a by-product of the planet's whispers taking away Aerith's knowledge of the future.
We are witnessing the reunion of worlds? And we see two possible other timelines mash together and Cloud hears screaming, presumably when people die? If all of the worlds eventually reunite, what is Sephiroth's hope for this? Have all these worlds been created, only just to die, so that more dead people's spirits are in the lifestream? Do a lot of these people become whispers that Sephy can control?
In the OG, when Cloud and Aerith speak in the sleeping forest, it was kind-of in Cloud's head, or in the lifestream maybe, or a dream. And here it seems to be the same, as Cloud has not yet woken up in the main timeline. But if this is the case, how can he give Aerith the other white materia? How has Aerith in the real world got it back? Or is it just some lifestream shenanigans?
I wonder if sleeping forest Aerith, in both OG and Rebirth, is one Aerith teleporting around, or multiple Aeriths all popping out from different trees. I wonder if it was ever main timeline Aerith, or whether it was always lifestream Aerith, even in OG.
Hmm, when we fell from the Temple, it seems that the white whispers saved us? Or was it them that put Cloud into his unconscious state so that he could go to the dream world?
So the white whispers fight us attempting to stop us getting into the city, but then its the black whispers that form the barrier we have to punch through. Odd that both types are against us getting in, just like they both try and stop us getting to Aerith once we're in there. But then its 3 black whispers that crash into the barrier to open a way. Maybe Cloud's presence there somehow facilitates Aerith's death? And that's why the white whispers don't want him to reach her.
It implies Tifa sees the flashes that Cloud sees, like when Jenova alters Cloud's memories. But if this is the case, how? How does she see the two different Aeriths lying there? Perhaps something to do with her journey into the lifestream?

Timelines?

And it probably doesn't matter now, as it seems that there are a multitude of timelines, many of which no longer exist by the end of the game. But still, I thought I would try and write down all of the timelines we have experience of so far throughout our FF7 journey.

OG: Timeline of the original game.
Beagle Stamp: The main FF7: Remake timeline. Similar to OG, but the whispers keep correcting the anomalies, seemingly made by Sephiroth and maybe Aerith. Sometimes, Cloud and Aerith can hear voices from other timelines.
Terrier Stamp: Zack survives his fight with the Shinra soldiers at the end of Crisis Core. Zack and his ill Cloud have seemingly been brought forward in time, as they arrive at Midgar much later than they normally would, just after the fight at the end of Remake. Biggs has survived in this timeline, and has also seemingly been brought here by the whispers. Characters here have memories of Remake Cloud. Also, Cloud must have been around in this timeline as Shinra are looking for a former SOLDIER with a buster sword. Where that Cloud has gone in this timeline is still a mystery. Or has he vanished now that the ill Cloud has been brought here. Most other alternate worlds seem to be spun off from this one. There is a rift in the sky in this timeline, and its derivatives.; The "weather warfare" happened in this timeline, and the Shinra building has fallen. The Shinra building is seemingly still there in beagle timeline.
Unknown Stamp - or maybe still Terrier?: Zack decides to look for a cure for Cloud, and goes to the Shinra building. He is confronted by a platoon of soldiers, and goes into combat with them. His fate is unknown. Presumably he is killed, either by the military or when this world dies.; We don't see a Stamp, but we do get the rainbow effect when Zack makes his choice, suggesting a new world or spin-off has been made.
Pug Stamp: Zack decides to go help Biggs. Biggs gets killed by Shinra. Zack flees from the soldiers. His fate is unknown. Presumably he dies when this world dies.
Corgi Stamp: Zack has not yet made his decision, and sits trying to decide on the church steps. Sephiroth arrives and sends him into a portal. This Zack is led by the yellow flowers to help Cloud fight Sephiroth. Then he is taken into another, as yet unknown timeline at the end of the game. I'm guessing this is the beagle timeline, but it does have the different cross in the background of the church which is not there in the beagle timeline.
Chihuauha Stamp: Seemingly another spin off of the terrier timeline, as Cloud wakes up from the wheelchair when main timeline Cloud inhabits his body. How, when or why it spins off is unknown. We do not see Zack, Elmyra, Marlene or Biggs. This is Aerith's "dream world" as she calls it. The people here know their world is doomed. This Aerith (which could be lifestream Aerith inhabiting this world's unconscious Aerith?) gives Cloud her white materia and sends him back through a portal, before Sephiroth appears, after which we can assume this Aerith is killed.
Unknown Stamp: There is also a world seen at the end of the Intermission DLC. This one seemingly does not spin off from the terrier world, as Zack seemingly does not see unconscious Aerith upon his return to Midgar, and believes he is going to find her in the church, but she's not there.; I did see an idea that this could be the Zack from the world where Cloud and Aerith woke up - ie the dream world. He may think they've gone to the church, so goes to find them, only to see people mourning that Aerith was just killed by Seph. I would need to check the background cross.

17th February 2025: Along Came A Spider Puzzle

Just recently I was thinking back to when I played L: A Mathemagical Adventure a few years ago. Well, more specifically, I was thinking about the script I wrote for the "spider puzzle", and whether or not I could have ever gotten it to work had I not been so hasty to delete it before knowing all the facts.

It was annoying me so much, that I sat down and once again tried to create a script that would correctly work out a solution to the puzzle.

And I'm happy to say that, after a few hours of head scratching, I've got something that works.

It's certainly not as elegant as I originally planned. I wanted the script to "step" backwards and forwards through the route on its attempt to solve the puzzle, and keep doing this until it found a correct path. Thus, it technically would only need a single attempt to find a working solution, where it would just keep correcting itself along the way.

While I did my best to write in this backtracking capability, and while technically it does do this, unfortunately it doesn't work exactly as planned. It was just too hard to get the script to remember where it had been, and when to forget it had been there, if it has found another way through the puzzle, for example.

My fix to get the script to work is to let it work back and forth through the route for a while, and if too many attempts are made, then just reset and start again. This has made it so that the script can now kick out a proper solve every time. It's just a shame that, from what I can gather, the backtracking is rarely used on a successful solve of the puzzle. It instead just seems to luck into a correct solve after a reset.

Still, I don't care. It's something that I didn't achieve before, and now I have.

Spider puzzle solution

And then, armed with this capability, and still in possession of my old map scribbles, I thought why not go back to the game and make those nice replacement maps that I'd always wanted, after all?

My map is no longer scribbley

17th December 2024: Steve Meets Eve

After first playing through FF7 Rebirth earlier this year, I had intended to go back to it and complete a lot of the side content I originally missed.
This didn't happen, however, and my PS5 was stuffed back into its box and vanished into the loft for the next several months.

Just recently, I finally purchased another game for this system, allowing it to return from its exile.

Several years ago, I saw the short release trailer to this game, and it immediately got me interested. Back then, the game was still using its original, and far superior, name of Project Eve.

It took way, way too long for this thing to come out. I mean, why bother announcing games that are still several years away from release? It took so long that they even removed its original PS4 compatibility.
Oh well, I digress.

After all the wait, including letting a few months pass so the damn thing wouldn't be so expensive, I finally got to play it.

So these are the chronicles of my adventures through the wastelands, as I tackled Stellar Blade.

Synchronised flippy spinny shit

Eww, don't spit that at me. You'll get my hair dirty.

Eve has remarkably flexible ankles

Look, idiot monster. I'm getting what's in that chest.<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Look, idiot monster. I'm getting what's in that chest.
(webm video)

Firstly, I needed a console update to even play the game. But then, after updating, it wouldn't even let me use my controller if I didn't update its software as well.
Seriously, the controller software needs updating? What the hell is going on with consoles these days if that shit needs to happen? And what kind of software could possibly be in a controller anyway? I mean, you press a button, and the controller sends the signal to the console. It's not hard. Figure your shit out Sony, for fuck's sake.

Anyway, I was finally into the actual game, which is a third person action game, much like many others, I guess. In it, you play as Eve, a soldier who was a part of the latest expedition to retake Earth from hostile creatures. While on the planet, Eve befriends, and does quests for, a bunch of people in the last human city, Xion. There's also a couple of large, open zones, with a myriad of secrets and collectibles to find.

Sound familiar? Because it is. There's no doubt that this game is massively influenced by Nier Automata, that I played last year.

Like that other game, this one puts a stunningly beautiful and very competent female warrior front and centre. And there's no doubt about it, her inclusion is one of the reasons why I wanted to play this. Having a bunch of weirdos hate on the game because of her also gave me fuel.

So how does our leading lady measure up in the character department?

Now, there's a big problem with this game in my opinion, and unfortunately Eve is part of it. Yes, she is gorgeous and kicks total ass, and it's a pleasure to follow her around while she does her thing. But just like all of the other characters in the game, and indeed, the entire story itself, she's just so bland. And as a fan of games that have great stories and characters, this was a massive let down.

Welp, they added a photo mode

Scrapping for my life against Gigas<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Scrapping for my life against Gigas
(webm video)

I think Eve wants to play with some balls

Dude is clearly blind. But somehow also a prophet.<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Dude is clearly blind. But somehow also a prophet.
(webm video)

In fact, when the barber first sees her, he looks her up and down and calls her dull. Now, at the time, he's commenting purely on the way she looks, and is therefore an idiot.
But the truth is, as a character, she is dull. Dull as fuck in fact. The entire cast is the same way. They have little in the way of personality, and while the sound of the voice actors suits their characters, their lines are delivered with such boredom and disinterest that the characters suffer even more because of it.
At times, Eve can even come off as quite rude to some of the other people in the city, whereas most of the time she's quite sweet and good-natured. It's just weird how she goes off on some people, especially if they comment on how good she looks. I mean, she wears all those crazy outfits, but doesn't think people will notice?

What's even worse is, she's seemingly as dumb as a used, soggy tea bag. How the hell does she not know what a guitar is? Or a piano? Or even a drink can? But somehow she knows what a matryoshka doll is? So strange.

She simply doesn't even enter the conversation when it comes to great female characters, like Tifa from FF7, or indeed 2B from Nier. And it's such a shame, because if the personality matched her looks, she could easily be up there with my other favourites.

I knew I'd have to climb at least one tower in the open section

Eve sure likes showing off her cans

This Little Red Riding Hood knows how to fight

Anyone up for some togga?

While the game has plenty of exploration and sometimes frustrating platforming, the main meat and potatoes here is the combat. However, it's not the kind of combat you would normally think a game like this would have.

It's not the silly button-mashing mayhem of a hack'n'slash, or even the fast-paced counter attack style of something like the Arkham games. Rather, it's very tactical and precise, much like some of the boss fights in the FF7 remake games, but just for the entire game.

Most people would say this combat style is very much like Dark Souls, but as I have not played any of those games yet, I can't really comment. In fact, the only game I've played that I think could be described as even slightly Souls-like would be Jedi: Fallen Order, and there are definitely some similarities to that game here.

I can't really say that it's one of my favourite combat styles, by any means. And if anything, it's made even more frustrating because of the weird timing required for the parrying.

While I got more used to it as time went on, it felt almost like there's an input delay of sorts. At first, I could rarely get commands to register. I pressed block and she would just stand there and get smacked in the face.
It's like they made the game more challenging, not by making the enemies hard to beat, but by making the controls feel very sluggish. You almost have to anticipate everything rather than react with split second timing. I kept having these silly moments where I was spamming block, certain that an attack was about to come in, but it didn't.

And then there's the animation locks, which I've struggled with in other games. Why won't she dodge when I tell her? Oh, she's not finished swinging her sword around yet. Silly me.

Game knows what it has to offer

You alright there Lily?<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

You alright there Lily?
(webm video)

Can't drop to that ledge without dying, but I can drop and hang off those branches which are further down? Ok, game.

Insert power source to activate giant booba?

My other issue with combat was the controls. As block/parry is on L1, I was absolutely miffed that the game does not come with rebindable buttons. That's such an odd choice.
I wanted block/parry on R1 to maintain parity with FF7 Rebirth, so I had to use the PS5's settings to swap L1 and R1. Though on a few of the very rare QTEs, this came with its own issues, as I had to remember the button prompts were the other way around. And navigating the menus sometimes made me feel like I was drunk.

There's also a weird thing that happens in regard to the power of the enemies. For example, the first Alpha Naytiba you fight is called Gigas. But then later on you fight another Gigas, only this time it's not an Alpha, but is twice as hard. What the hell was that all about?

This second Gigas fight was when I actually dropped the difficulty from normal to easy, as my old brain was having trouble and I was sick of trying. Typically, I did then go and beat it pretty quickly in the boss challenge mode on normal. Then I pressed the wrong button to exit and ended up fighting it again, managing another win. This little boost in confidence did not make me reconsider the drop in difficulty, though.

After all, I was not here for a challenge. With the story and characters not really gripping me, I was here purely for the ass kicking and the jiggly bits. Getting through the main game on easy, for speed purposes, then tackling the bosses on normal, to unlock the extra outfit, was my plan. However, this too changed, when I learned that multiple playthroughs would be needed to unlock all of the bosses in the challenge mode.

And I wasn't going to do that, even for a cool looking outfit.

Still, while elements of the combat frustrated me, it's kind-of odd to admit, but I also quite liked it in many ways. As some comments on the internet stated, it was probably too easy on easy mode, and while I may have eventually managed to trudge through it on normal, it would have taken a lot longer. It's a shame then, that there's not another difficulty between easy and normal, which would have probably been just about right for me.

Game won't let me ambush this guy even though I'm right behind him

Oh man, I found the fishing quest. There goes several hours of my life.

How the hell did I pull that out of this tiny pool?<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

How the hell did I pull that out of this tiny pool?
(webm video)

Eve kicks this enemy into pieces

Like the other Soulsy-kind of games, enemies respawn when you rest, and there are shortcuts you can open up while exploring, to make it easier to get back to places you've already been. Thing is in this game, most of these shortcuts are simple, thin metal gates that are locked from the other side. And you're telling me that this highly skilled and cybernetically enhanced warrior that can slice monsters and robots to ribbons can't just use her sword to cut through this old rusted metal? This definitely seemed odd.

In fact, there were several times where I thought the level design was a mess, mostly in the linear zones. For some reason, they don't give you a map during these areas, and finding anything without one is a chore. Gladly, the open zones do have maps, though there's no minimap for some bizarre reason. This would have been nice, so I wouldn't have to keep going into the menu to see where I'm going next.

Early on in my run, I was leaping back and forth between this game and Mad Max. I even stepped back from this game for a while to try and get that other one done. During that time, photo mode dropped, which may have been an influencing factor in my decision to dump that game and get back to this.

Absolutely love me a good photo mode.

I had read some comments that this new mode was only for selfies, but gladly that turned out to be false. And while it's not a patch on the amazing photo mode from Horizon, I think I managed to get some decent action shots.

The main problem is that the depth of field settings don't seem to work properly, but it's also that the menu doesn't remember your last used settings. T'was such a chore to keep changing everything again for every picture.

Someone's always perving on Eve

Why is this space elevator at such a weird angle to the planet?

Raven doesn't seem to care that I just stabbed her in the gut

My wings are like a shield of steel

So after many hours, I finally came to the end. The late game story made me do little other than roll my eyes. There was no great reason why the big reveal couldn't have happened much earlier in the game, and there were characters that could have done way more good for the world if only they'd communicated about what they knew. It was so silly.

Despite its flaws, it's definitely a game I'm happy to have played, and I quite looked forward to booting it up every time.

I also think I did pretty much everything I wanted to do for a first playthrough, completing every side mission I found, collecting all the cans, and collecting almost all of the available outfits.
So if it's the case that this ends up being my only playthrough, at least I won't feel like I have unfinished business.

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