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23rd July 2025: Hesitant Feeble Hero

I've finally sat down and trudged through a task I've been quite hesitant to tackle for over 18 months now.

And "trudged" is a very apt word, for though Resident Evil 0 is a comparatively short game, the play time is artificially lengthened by the sheer need to ferry items back and forth throughout the map.

It wasn't like I wasn't prepared for it either. My map was already 90% complete, so I knew certain things like when to pick up the different chemicals, and which enemies were coming up. This saved a lot of backtracking and reloading, but even with this knowledge things were still a bit silly. I would say it actually feels like a much shorter game than the other early Resident Evil games I've played. What I mean by that is I think there are less keys and puzzles in this one, and less objectives. It's only the running back and forth managing items that makes the game so long.

Though it helped me in my playthrough, making another map was probably a mistake, and has amplified my time spent with the game by factors unknown. I love them when they're done, but map creation is a tedious experience. Still, it's probably the last map for this series I will ever make, so I wanted to at least make it a good one.

And speaking of the map, here it is:

Resident Evil 0 map

Resident Evil 0 map

It's strange how my enjoyment of this series had changed over the years. I thought the original game was pretty good, and I ended up really liking the second one. The different characters and the A & B scenarios were a cool idea. RE3 dipped off a bit because I didn't like Nemesis being the boss fight nearly every time. Code: Veronica didn't do anything for me at all, but then the remake of the original was really good, and is my second fave behind RE2.

This one was just an absolute chore. Just a very unfun experience. If there was a gun to my head and I had to play this one or Code: Veronica again, I'm really not sure which one I would choose. Both games seem to be designed to waste your time.

It's not like it makes much sense in terms of where it fits into the franchise anyway. There's so little story here it may as well not be there. And we're talking about a Resident Evil game here. It's not like they're known for having incredible narratives.

What's worse is that it doesn't even fit in with the original game, with Rebecca making no comment to Chris about the torrid time she has had during this game's events. Weird plot holes happen often when prequels are created, but they had a glorious opportunity to remedy this in the original's remake, but for some reason refused.

Sit down nerds

Sit down nerds

Rebecca doesn't like crows

Rebecca doesn't like crows

Ever feel like you have a monkey on your back?

Ever feel like you have a monkey on your back?

Crawlies can't get to me so I blow them away

Crawlies can't get to me so I blow them away

Geographically, things also fall apart.

We know from the start of RE1 that Bravo Team's chopper crashed somewhere near the mansion in order for the team members to find it. We also know from the start of RE0 that the chopper crashed somewhere near the train tracks.
But then the train moves, at some speed, for quite a while until it crashes into the training facility. So at this point, we should be a considerable distance away from the mansion.
Then we take an underground cable car for an unknown distance to the factory which gives us access to the elevator which both takes us down to the treatment plant, and back up to the training facility.
Then when the treatment plant explodes, we find that we are not too far from the mansion.
So what the hell is going on with this place? The only thing I can think of is that the training facility was a long way from the treatment plant, and that the elevator somehow has special powers. That or Rebecca smoked something and hallucinated the entire thing. I mean, she's good with the herbs, after all.

To be honest, I felt like I needed some medication after playing this...

Know what time it is? Yep. It's box-pushin' time.

Know what time it is? Yep. It's box-pushin' time.

It's getting hot in here<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

It's getting hot in here
(webm video)

Shooting a Tyrant up the arse<br /><span class='skye'>(webm video)</span>

Shooting a Tyrant up the arse
(webm video)

Facing off against the queen

Facing off against the queen

20th July 2025: Fantasising About Answers

The look I have on my face when trying to make sense of all this nonsense

The look I have on my face when trying to make sense of all this nonsense

My ramblings have been a bit lacking of late, so I thought it was about time to have a damn good waffle on about about a game that is very dear to me, Final Fantasy VII. Specifically, the remake games, concerns I have, and where I think things may be going.

I guess the main question I've got to ask is "why?" Why have they done things this way? Why construct the story the way they have?

I'm still of the absolute belief that the best thing they could have done in the remakes would have been to simply remake the original's story, but with all of the improved character dialog and voice acting. In addition, they should have completely ignored all of the old compilation stuff, so any new expanded content could have been vastly reworked and made much better. Or better yet, simply have no expanded content. Surely a trilogy is plenty enough?

As we didn't get that, the second game should have followed through on promises made in the first game, and actually changed the plot. Instead, here we are after two games, and the boundless freedom from fate we were promised at the end of Remake has not yet materialised. The situation is pretty much exactly the same as it was during the original. Only this time we've experienced all this extra multiverse, fate, future knowledge and Whisper craziness, as well as get confirmation that all of the old expanded content is still very much canon.

It's such a mess.

And if you want to read a very long and pointless post about why I think it's such a mess, then press the following button:

Show / hide FF7 ramblings

17th July 2025: Show Me The Hunie

These last few years, I've had a bit of a thing for nostalgic anniversaries, and this interest only seems to be getting stronger.

And weirder.

See, ten years ago, I encountered the only game since 2012 that I've played through but didn't write about on this blog. This was because, at the time, I thought the game's contents were a little inappropriate.

But here I am, a decade later, playing that game's sequel and slapping its content all up and down the page.

Because these days, I really don't give a shit.

The game in question is the token-matching, insanity-laden, slapper-dating chaos called HuniePop 2: Double Date.

In the original, the seemingly cute but actually very vulgar Love Fairy, Kyu, pops up in your home one day to help you get dates and get laid through the power of puzzle solving. Yes, like I said, these games are insane.

You work your way through a whole town's worth of partners before Kyu, a stranded alien hotty, and even the Goddess of Love herself all get in on the action.

Here, in the sequel, set a few years later, Kyu has learned that two powerful and insanely horny space nymphos are about to awaken from their slumber. And if there's not someone there to satisfy them adequately, they will go total bitch mode and destroy the entire galaxy.

So Kyu has again sought you out, this time to train you how to handle two partners at a time, so that you can be ready to handle the needs of these lusty, demonic spirits. Again, by using your amazing puzzle solving skills.

Whatever floats their boat, I guess.

The setting for the game this time is an island, where there are twelve potential partners. From these ladies, you have to get 24 different couple combos to become attracted to each other, and then become lovers. So a minimum of 48 successful dates is required to even get to the end battle. This was indeed a bit of a drag. No sane person needs that many match 3 puzzles.

Early game puzzlin'

Early game puzzlin'

Yep, Sarah was indeed a weeb

Yep, Sarah was indeed a weeb

Kyu's got issues, man

Kyu's got issues, man

Seems like suitable attire for a stroll around town

Seems like suitable attire for a stroll around town

I don't remember many of the characters in the first one being very interesting or appealing. Indeed, my two favourites were Kyu herself, and the blue-skinned alien, Celeste. This is perhaps a little telling on my part that my two faves were the two non-humans.

The human characters just aren't all that great here either. There were only two I even partially liked, being Ashley, who had a great sense of humour, and Lailani who was real cute and actually had some modesty. What she was doing in this game though I'm not sure, being surrounded as she was by raging nymphomaniacs and total weirdos.

As for Kyu, she is still fucking hilarious, but is no longer a dating option. Celeste however does not appear at all, other than a cameo on a booby mouse pad. Shame.

I didn't realise until this write up, that the voice of Lola in both games is actually the same actress who voices 2B in Nier: Automata. That's like the same slap in the face I got when I learned that the actress who voices Aiba in the Somnium Files is the same one who voices fucking Kyrie in the new FF7 games. Like, what?!?!

Before playing, I read some buzz online that implied this game was actually far less challenging than the first one. I may be remembering incorrectly, but I don't think I started to struggle with the original game until getting quite far into it. Here, on just my fifth or sixth date, I completely failed. Then a couple of dates after, I struggled like mad and just about made it with one move left.

I really had to spend ages going around, talking to the different characters, levelling skills, and purchasing items, to make things easier. Even then, it wasn't all smooth sailing.

My most embarassing loss was a failure of epic proportions on my part. I was in a very difficult date and I was running out of moves. But I wasn't worried, as I had a plan that I'd been building up to the entire time.

I was going to hit a big joy token wombo combo, turning all of the broken heart tokens into joy tokens, then using another gift to consume all of those tokens, which would have given me 9 extra moves, and probably enough time to succeed in the date. However, I completely failed to remember that the character's "active baggage" at the time was to remove moves instead of adding them whenever I matched joy tokens. I certainly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in that one.

Glad you had fun ladies. Now give me the fruits!

Glad you had fun ladies. Now give me the fruits!

Making my first 5-match of the run

Making my first 5-match of the run

A wild Celeste appears

A wild Celeste appears

Finally discovered all of the romance combos

Finally discovered all of the romance combos

Speaking of the gifts, which are items you can use during dates to give yourself some kind of bonus, it took me a while to realise that they didn't get consumed when you use them. Took me even longer to realise I could gather them back up after a date so I could use them with different characters.

Of course, this didn't mean that I always remembered to do this. In fact there were a bunch of times I left good date gifts behind, or forgot to set any up at all, and had to just wing the date with no help. I'm not the smartest.

After an absolute slog of a playthrough, I ended up going into the final date at last. But when I saw how it was set up, I immediately wanted to stop playing.

The "end boss battle" in this game is a non-stop 4-phase date, where you don't even go up against the two demons. Instead, they seem to mind control random members of the rest of the cast, each of whom has a random kind of baggage, or special rule, active.

This means that you can not plan for the date at all like you can for all of the others. Or at least, not in the same way, and not with any great accuracy.

In addition, I was hoping to do what I had done for a while, and take my most effective gifts with me to use on the date. This is not possible however, as the only gifts you will have available are ones that have been given to the other characters beforehand. But with no knowledge of which of the twelve characters are going to be chosen, or which special rules they were going to be using, a great deal of preparation was going to be required.

I backed straight out of the attempt, and had to purchase a whole clutch of other gifts, to make sure each character was full.

I even decided to make notes about the different characters, their weird rules, and how best to set them up with the gifts I had available. This much work just shouldn't be required for a silly little game like this.

But all of the effort paid off, and I was able to succeed at the first attempt. Gotta say, I was utterly underwhelmed by the end of the game, and all of my time and effort hardly seemed worth it. I mean, I'd waited the entire game to go up against these two ragingly horny space demons, and the final date's not really even with them? Pfft.

At least the devs have got a sense of humour, and don't seem to be too fussed about being a bit vulgar and politically incorrect. If it wasn't for all the silliness and horniness, there's no way a game like this would be playable for me.

Kyu randomly changes her appearance on me

Kyu randomly changes her appearance on me

My final boss notes

My final boss notes

The space nymphos appear

The space nymphos appear

Making my final move with barely any stamina left

Making my final move with barely any stamina left

Maybe now it's done I can get that pissing intro music out of my head at last. It's been in there for days, and hopefully won't stick around much longer.

7th July 2025: Playing With Numbers

<Old Stuff>

As it has once again been a very long time since I brought something back from my old site, I thought I'd start the process of transferring my old games.

Up first, as it's by far the easiest one to transfer, is my old sudoku puzzle, which I made in Javascript back in 2013.

The others may arrive at some point, but will need massive amounts of work, with two of them needing complete rewrites.


Create new puzzle wipes the grid and creates a new puzzle in one of three difficulties. The harder the puzzle, the more numbers are removed from the grid at the start.

Check for errors will look at all of the numbers currently visible on the grid and highlight any errors for you.

Reset will return the puzzle to its initial state.

Give up will populate the entire grid with the numbers that were generated for this puzzle.

Though very unlikely, note that there may be more than one way to complete a grid from its initial state.
If you have successfully completed the grid and there are no errors, you have still succeeded, even if pressing give up changes some of the numbers to form a different valid solution.









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