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6th May 2019

It's been a long while since the story section last had any attention. A while back, I gave up on the idea of ever finishing my Star Wars stories, so instead have typed out a rough outline as to what may have happened during the rest of the saga. I've also expanded the names & characters section with images where possible.

29th October 2017

Did some work behind the scenes of the game blog page so that the game filters now work much better.

30th June 2017

A couple of months back I found loads of old notes about all the old Epic Space Marine games we played, starting from back when I was in high school. I thought it would be a good idea to type them all up as best I could, and upload them all. While I was at it, I also converted the Epic-S and 40K battle reports from their PDF state to HTML, and they can be found on the Warhammer 40K page.

LLAP-Goch Wrooted Productions

Here lies a collection of all the craziest things that Doogle and Sven wrooted while part of LLAP-Goch Productions.

The Man From The Moon

The man from the moon could not find a spoon so a fork had to do instead.
The man from the moon resembled a baboon in his ass and hairy head.
The man from the moon will be here soon but his kangaroo is very dead.
The man from the moon layed a cocoon but hates most people called Fred.
The man from the moon can't be missed and also doesn't exist.

The Mouse In The House

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Everyone was pooing, even the mouse.
When a knock at the door sent people pooing no more,
For the knock at the door was ... The Gas Man.
The Gas Man opened the door with the mightiest roar,
Which sent Mrs. Cupboard diving to the floor.
But then the Gas Man saw what he'd done -
How he'd interupted people pooing from their bum.
But do you know what? HE WAS GLAD !!!
All the people were depressed - not impressed - depressed,
But it was all for the best as Granpa's string vest
Had blown clean away!!
Moral of the story : Never trust flying hippos with jet rocket packs on their backs.

The Man And The Frying Pan

There was once a man who was very constipated. His name was Smap Smap Mi Paps A Smap. But don't judge a book by its name because that's right! Smap Smap Mi Paps A Smap is a book! And surprisingly he's just had his hair died READ! (Red) But enough of that rib-tickling funny stuff. FAARRTTT! Oh pardon my backside - can you smell it? I wonder why they call it the backside. I mean it's sort of on your lower back but it's not on your side! Maybe when Professor Squibble Mi Nibble named it he was studying a Nymph from the planet Bligiplafelmygrobblinggoosberies-fromaskindereggssplurdgemimog-dogsafrogandsoizannenicole-smithbutthepostmanzcat-thosadoredump. Or maybe not.

The Frog On The Bog

The little frog called Harry was extremely bored with Frank his pet snail. He was so bored that he was picking his nose with each finger to see which one could redeem the biggest bogey (5 extra points for the hard crispy one).

Dave's Advice

1) Don't cheek the flibs, they might eat your nibs.
2) Being a toilet popper is better than being a bog bopper.
3) Mr. Migicka sucks on a sneeker.
4) Drag on a fag and go Morris dancing, whilst the pea farmers go a prancing.
5) Throw some wee - then you'll see.
6) Do a poo on a french dog's parrot, then feed it a carrot.
7) Make a bed really bumpy, then drink a pint of scrumpy.
8) Potatoes live in space and never wash their face.
9) U a baby alwaandlll6tfortlbulbwhprlniwclneanhear.
10) Niff will eat ya!
11) Sticks 'n' rods may make pea pods, but lego bricks and pricks make a mess.

The Bugs

The bugs were in the frying pan as usual, when someone knocked at the door to produce a knock. It was an extremely angry Prug from a place that no longer exists since a Stug from Mug exploded on a day we don't fart on any more since the day no longer exists because the Stug had uncontrolled flatulence.
When a Plimp called for, when he was playing golf with a toad from Flog M Plirf, the Nyrf got a bogey on his head because he had lost his hair.
The Nyrf was very upset with the whole episode so he turned off the television. The Nyrf continued to watch the television for two of his pets, Friglle and Fraggle, only one millionth of a millimetre small, were having an exciting mud wrestling match, but burned themselves so they stopped.

And now a special rhyme from a once educated cat that used to sit on a mat

The frogs are not here anymore,
They have splatted on the floor and door.
The rice pudding continues to eat amounts of grass,
Whilst a Pug called Jimmy ate from his ass.
All the kangaroos in eastern Mars have said,
They wish all anteaters were dead.
Due to the frogs dying,
Their skunks have been crying,
For it came as a shock to the world,
That the ever lasting custard had curled.

Stink Pants To The Rescue

Mrs. Muggins of 23 Drip Smell Road, had feet, but her armpit juice smelt of fine roses. Stink Pants to the rescue!
Meanwhile Stink Pants was doing a rather large poo, which was stuck in his anal passage. The piece of purple poo ate part of Stink Pants' bum so Stink Pants ate the poo.
The Smello-phone went so Stink Pants ate it with a green goosberry. Stink Pants to the Smello-phone shop!


Crumpets for tea
But none for me
For my shoes have eat them,
And then done a wee

The conclusion of...

....The End.


Twog was a magic Prug, but the Gurp wouldn't let him tiddle. The Twog burst and his tiddle soaked the Gurp.


Crug ate a toilet one day,
For you see, he had to pay.
Crug ate a toilet one day,
And for that he would say :
"Toilets, my lad, are nutritious,
For the poo is full of vitamins, iron, and lead."
Crug carried on :
"The rim around the seat, smells of finely tuned feet."

And now a poem by Twog the drat truck

My wheels are very new,
They smell of crusty poo.
The seat in my cab is clean,
For 'twas polished with half cooked baked beans.
My fluffy dice smell of spice,
While the petrol, it tastes so nice.

Detective Cronkshonk will now tell us a story of courage, bravery, and SOCKS...

The night was cold, the air smelled of mould, but that wasn't enough to stop the might of pickled onion man... The case tonight was... brown, leather, and a double locking system. But that's not the point.
The night was so cold that Cronkshonk had to wear his thermal underpants together with woolly earmuffs that he bought from Codga Wodga World.
During Cronkshonk's time fart arsing about, serious business was going on at the bank. The bank was high and encrusted with grass, but that's not the point either.
Socks were going missing all over town. No-one knew where they were or what evil force of darkness was stealing them. Only one pair of socks hadn't been touched over town : The holy socks of the church of Great on a Plate county of Sand Land, but the un-self respecting citizens of the land of hHonk were in for a big cock, for the poultry king was said to be visiting their humble bumble town where the sun only shines when news-agents are open or the giant gets a puncture in his arse.


Midge wouldn't twog because of the Nurg's tendancy to flog in his face. Midge was getting fed up of being flogged in the face so he frumped the Nurg.


Nog is the Latin expression for piddling on a cat during the second 1st in the garut after poking your Twog with a carrot. Carrots are used in this way because of the Frug of Nig eating a runner (or jumper - or even a scarf!) bean after a wet lump of margarine has splatted an unsuspecting Tig in the face. When the Tig gets very angry with his pet lemming he druffs on the floor for a period of time until his gut explodes gracing the world with dirty wash water and behold - CARROTS!

And now a table 2 C which Neeble Knocker winz.

Blog - Has an acidic value of 26
Drig - Stuff
Goosberries - Drag Queen of Prig
And that confirms that Frog, "THE ALONE SQUAB FROM TRIG" who was late for the competition has no doubt won it fair and circle.

The Conclusion Of Dt. Cronkshonk

When Irish Stew Mgrue set off, the firework went bang. The firework displayed a message to all of the crazed sock eaters (which co-incidently came from the mystical land of Boblydon) to give themselves up to antique shops for only £5.99 (or six hairy potatoes). But just at that moment, Irish Stew Mgrue heard a mighty bang in the miles away, centuries away, down the road shop, bank, spank. The bang was loud with a splat at the end, but that's not the point. It was Detective Cronkshonk!!! See, he had farted around so much that the bank exploded!
Cronkshonk flew across to where Irish Stew Mgrue was eating a snake cake, and asked for a bit. Irish Stew Mgrue slapped him with a wet monkey and pushed him off the cliff. What a cliff hanger!!

Doogle brings to our attention 2 meetings between twits:

A: I don't wanna hear from you anymore.
B: Hello
A: Who are you?
B: I'm back to work.
A: Paradise found?
B: Look, I may not see ya again.
A: I guess you don't wanna be late for your first day.
B: Where the fuck is 4K?
A: It's five bucks.
B: Excuse me, there's mustard on this sandwhich.
A: I'd like a whole new sandwhich.
B: Listen to me.
A: Bad sandwiches.
B: Go clean off my door.
A: Is everything alright Mr. Tutle?
B: Hey, nice dress.
A: How's everything?
B: Excuse me Mr. Tutle.
A: Beat it.

A: Two weeks after the dirties release.
B: I'll assault ya.
A: Scum.
B: What's the matter with you?
A: Theft?
B: I smashed up the chip shop.
A: Yeah?
B: Yeah.
A: How d'ya mean?
B: That's right.
A: She's a sour faced cow!

A hamster reads:

Hogwashers are in the house!
They may eat a squiggley mouse!
If the cat does another poo,
Rub your head in some glue!
I trud in sum de caffinated coffee one day,
It was on my foot to stay.
I tried and tried, but it wouldn't come off,
So a Nyrf from Drit said "ploff".
The End

Cronkshonk - The bit before the bit before the bit before THE FINAL FRONTIER Of Danger socks

With the help of the carrot, Cronkshonk got back up the cliff to see I.S. Mgrue bouncing around on his head. Cronkshonk asked him what was the matter, to which I.S. Mgrue replied : "splurge niof twagalaga ni pop" and then bounced off into the wilderness. The wilderness was the calmerness' cousin who had escaped from Loch Flum. But that's not the point either anyway. Cronkshonk went "yo" to the magic snake who immediately performed an old, years old, milli-froot-in' centurian aged, yesterday's Cantonese restaurant tradition to cobble his face with rather pink potatoes. Cronkshonk's older cousin Franklin McDowell aged four turned up. Cronkshonk (100,000) didn't want his trousers turned up so he kicked him all the way to the carrot kingdom.

The Edgas

The Edgas were pea eaters. I know they do not look like it, but they are. It is only due to their superior intellect to flimpk everywhere that they are such good feet inspectors.

Detective Cronkshonk Continued...

After Cronkshonk had been saved by the Mystical Carrot of Blergh, it was that time of year he usually took his slime bath. Cronkshonk went home and gave his slime a long soak in the murky nose dribble from Soppa, the deranged Cobbla from the Nittler-foog. After Cronkshonk had finished bathing his slime, he got a gun and shot a clock to kill the time. Then Cronkshonk remembered about the sock thieving and so he got to work. Work wasn't working so he went "FROOG" and ate the odd potato. All of the even potatos were there and got mighty cross for he had just ate (and the quick tiddle) their friends. The potatos got a large branding iron and hit Cronkshonk on the left nipple. Cronkshonk writhed about in pain for a bit before climbing out.
"FLERGH!" said Cronkshonk (which was the potato equivalent of "Oy! Get back here you bunch of low life sock stealing thieves!"). Cronkshonk pooed himself with the greatest of ease, until it dribbled onto his knees. The smell wafted until each of the potatos barked (woof) in turn and did a little trendy dance (synchronised) and fell on the floor, criffin' no more.
"Ha ha!" said Cronkshonk as he walked like a moose over to the suspected thieves. "Did you do it?" He asked in the form of a rabid penguin.
"No," said the smouldering masses of stuff.
"Oh," said Cronkshonk as he walked off dancing the doughnut.
The Magic Joystick came down from Center Parcs and said "Hflufflep" to Cronkshonk.
"Ha, so they did do it," said Cronkshonk, and walked back to the masses of mash. Cronkshonk was very, very hungry indeed...
What could he do? He'd eaten all the thieves and now he wouldn't get the squidgey wolapz for catching them. He could wait until he needed the toilet, but no, that wouldn't work. He'd also eaten boiled carrot soup that day. He just had to find himself another thief. Cronkshonk ran over to the sleeping Magic Joystick and put it in a yellow and pink sack marked "THE YELLOW AND PINK SACK". Cronkshonk would get his squidgey wolapz after all!!

How the Cugleys came to be..

It was during the pogo throwing season, usually referred to as 'Igle Bigle Neegle Pop'. The Noopz were lined up for pogo throwing. Mick (first in line) got his pogo stick. He throws. Oh no! Intercepted by a butterfly. Only 1/4 of a millimetre. Second - Munk. He throws and oh my friggles, a magic nit has appeared on the grass. Wahey! 2cm, which wins the contest. Noopz are 500m tall and 1mm wide.
Coogleys were born!

Nightmare On Elm Tree Street

Freddy Crowger was a big blackbird thing that sat in an Elm tree on the corner of a street. One night he saw a big worm on the ground and flew down and ate him. The worm never stood a chance, for the following reasons: a) he was pissed, and b) worms can't stand anyway.

Nightmare On Elm Tree Street 2 - Worms Reinforcements

All of the worms were shocked to hear Freddy Crowger had killed their friend, Squidge. They armed their bazookas and shotguns and squibbled off to the Elm tree to face Freddy and get revenge. Freddy flew out of the tree as Slimey fired a homing rocket. The rocket went splatt! on Freddy, and the splatt!ed Freddy went splatt! on the floor. The worms then buried him with a big splatt! But he came back to life and went SQUAARRKK! and flapped his wings and flew out of the ground. Squidgey got in his tank and chased Freddy up the tree. He fired the cannon, but worms are blind so he kept missing. Freddy then flew down the local chippy and ate all their chips.
The end.

The Hooty MacTooty

The Hooty MacTooty is one of the greatest battles in the history of the World Of LLAP-Goch. The evil Henry Boo, with his counterpart Rozza The Bozza, led an attack with his army of Shnoops against the Hoots, led by Big Hoot, Hoot McGroot and Mac Egg "The Degg" (or just Eggy MacDeggy). The battle took place outside the Hoot's fortress, Hooting Castle. It went like this...

Big Hoot woke up one morning to see a big cloud of dust out across the desert. He called in Hoot McGroot to ask what it was.
"Well, sir," began McGroot, "It's either a giant army of Shnoops, or 'Smelly' Hoot Harold and 'Fartin' Hoot McDermot having a farting contest again."
Just then, Eggy MacDeggy waddled into the room.
"It's the Shnoops!" he cried.
"Then we must stop them, before they get to the castle."
The Hoots soon formed an army and stood ready at the castle gates.
"Errr, boss," said MacDeggy. "I thought we were supposed to stop them before they got to the castle."
"Well remembered," answered Big Hoot. "You will get a free hard boiling later on for that piece of information."
"Thankyou sir."
"Hoots forward!" commanded Big Hoot, and the Hoots marched toward the Shnoops. At the head of the Shnoops force, Rozza the Bozza saw the Hoot army coming their way.
"Hey Henry. It's the Hoot's army," he pointed out.
"Damn. Stop Shnooping for a minute you stupid Shnoops." Boo got the attention of his army. "There are some Hoots heading this way. Lets go to war, and make sure they get a bloody good shnooping."
The Shnoops cheered and ran forward, Shnooping.
"Get ready Hoots," shouted McGroot. "Here they come." The Hoots got ready to start hooting. As the Shnoops got within range, all of the Hoots hooted with all their might, knocking the Shnoops off balance. Big Hoot and McGroot ran into the Shnoops and blew two almighty Hoots, scattering them in all directions.
"Damn you Big Hoot," said Henry Boo. "Shnoops retreat!" The Shnoops army ran away, Shnooping.
"Well done McGroot," congratulated Big Hoot. "Another job well done."

The Maniac Moose

Geoffrey Hull was a man. His name was Geoffrey Hull, and he had been called Geoffrey Hull since his Mom named him Geoffrey Hull. Geoffrey Hull was a man who liked to experiment on things. Geoffrey Hull was a man who liked to experiment on mooses. Geoffrey Hull experimented on mooses everyday, until....
......MANIAC MOOSE !!!!!!
Maniac Moose was a moose who was a maniac. When he heard Geoffrey Hull was capturing mooses, he got mad and vowed to kill Geoffrey Hull. He ran up to Geoffrey Hull and slapped him with his long sloppy tongue. Geoffrey Hull ran away, never to be seen again, and Maniac Moose became the President of Aintitalfchilliere.

The Wrath Of Kharn

Kharn was the most terrifying man in the world. Everybody was scared of him, because he was so big and brainy. It was enormous brain that people were frightened of, because of its enormous size. One day, he went for a walk in the woods, but a woodpecker that was drunk on Woodpecker cider flew down and made a nest in his ears.
The End

Nightmare On Elm Tree Street Part 3 - Freddy's Revenge

Once Freddy had eaten all the Miserable House's chips he decided he must stop the worms once and for all. He flew around but couldn't find the worms, so attacked a SLUG instead. This was a very unprovoked attack, and the Slug Police were sent out to catch Fred and bring him to justice. Freddy knew it would take years for the Slug Police to catch up with him, so went behind the bike sheds for a bit of...
A lone squirrel witnessed what Fred was upto, and he was horrified to see the crow eating some chips (what else would he be doing behind the bike sheds?) When he was full, Fred continued his search for the worms, and he found them still squidging off down the road. He asked his friend, Coco The Swallow, to carry a coconut and drop it on the worms. The worms died.
The End

Rice Pudding

Put the white squelchy stuff into a bowl. Take your spoon, and hit the white stuff as hard as possible with it. The splat will be sent across the table, and into your goldfish bowl. Rice pudding. The fish will eat it because it tastes nice to them. To us it tastes like nothing nice, and everything not nice. Can't eat rice pudding.

Custard Cream

The biscuit tin (look what's in), look what's in (the biscuit tin).
I can't wait (tastes so great), I just gotta eat it (stay up late).
Golden dream (sunshine beam), where've you been (custard cream).
Forgive my sin (my evil sin), I looked in (the biscuit tin).
Tastes like custard, (not like mustard).
I had a dream (they're so mean), that's where you've been (custard cream).

The Flerghy Mobster

He's running down the road, with his long arms everywhere. On the end of these long arms there are two big hands. With these hands he slaps all of his enemies until they are dead. By slapping them across the chin he can render them unconscious for a precise amount of 12 days 7 hours. His breath can cut through everything by using a unique mixture of all that is horrid and despicable, such as lemon juice and marmelade jam mixed with burnt rubber. YES! - it's the Flerghy Mobster, and he doesn't exist.

The Poem On The Right

This is the poem on the right,
Because it's over the other side of the page.
It'll haunt your dreams in the night,
And lock you up forever in a cage.

The Mystical Land Of Mixiemuss Mass

Everyone in Mixiemuss Mass stood with their ears facing the ground. They couldn't see anything, mainly because their ears were facing the ground. But there was something they could do to stop this outrage - live on! FOREVER! That is why Mixiemuss Mass is such a sacred place. The people there will live forever, even though they can't see because their ears face the ground.

Jimmin' On Down

I couldn't get up, I was late again.
They were sick of me, all those men.
So they tried to catch me, but I was gone.
And I didn't care cuz I was Jimmin' on.
They chased and chased 'til they were out of breath.
It's cold out too, so they'll catch their death.
I left them lagging and hit the town.
'Twas just another day of Jimmin' On Down.

Only On Tuesdays

Tuesday is supposed to be the day after Monday. But not for me.
Tuesday is supposed to be the day before Wednesday. But not for me.
Because on Tuesdays I lose my mind, my mind I shall not find,
Until Wednesday, then I'm a day behind.
Only on Tuesdays do I sing this song:
Carrots and splerdge, bing tiddle tiddle bong.

Watch Out!

"ARRGHHH WATCH OUT!" Shouted the Magic Jit. His freind, who was a Magic Jat, was about to be trodden on by an evil Umperdink. A passing Pengler saw this tragic occurence and dived to help. Sadly, the evil Umperdink was too fat, and the Pengler was swallowed up. But it did save the Magic Jat, who scampered out of the way.


A rabbit was hopping down the road pretending to be a frog.
"Ribbit ribbit" said the rabbbit to a real frog.
The frog spat at the rabbit.

The Story Of Hergh...

Hergh is a word that is used to describe the feeling when a big fat man sits on your head. When the fat man sits on your head you say "HERGH" and maybe even "URGH", which is the "Hergh" without the "H" sound at the beginning. Or the word can be used in conjunction with "It", to create the word "Herghit", which is the Trimpsie's version of the phrase "Only two people may do the little dance."

Words Of Wisdom From Sir Stip 'Sprouty' Junkfeet

"If you've got two brothers. One goes North, one goes South. They both have three sons and it soon goes on doesn't it."
"I was walking down the street the other day when a fish jumped out and stamped on my foot."
"Cabbage can be used in a variety of different ways. Just yesterday I used one to throw at a little kid that walked past my house."
"When a pen runs out, don't throw it away. I have found they make excellent nose and ear pickers."
"Get a plastic cup, poke two holes in it, put string through the holes, and tie the cup to your face. You'll look cool!"
"I can tell you how to make good music. Do this : Dum dum dum derrrr. Great eh?"
"I have found a way to go to the toilet without walking upstairs. Do it in your pants!"
"I have found a way to make very amusing sounds. Put a load of flies in the microwave and they all go pop!"
"A new way to read a book - Use your feet!"
"This method can be used to peel carrots really quickly. Stick them in a tumble dryer with a hamster in it!"

The Stuff Part 1 - The Stuff

The Stuff was very green and messy. It was all stuffy and hence it was called The Stuff. One day The Stuff went squidging off down the road. A man witnessed this and fell down dead with shock.

The Stuff Part 2 - The Revenge Of The Stuff

A man knew of The Stuff's existence, and went out to find it with an anti-stuff kit, compromising of a stuff sucker, a stuff splatter, and a stuff stabber.
The man went into The Stuff's hideout, and tried to entice the stuff out with a song and dance routine. The Stuff took the bait and squidged out to join the dance, but the man pulled out his stuff stabber and attacked The Stuff!
The Stuff was taken by surprise, but its superior reflexes allowed it to dodge the attack and counter with a swift squidge-blob attack to the left ear lobe of the man. The man could not take the punishment and fled to safety.
That'll teach him to mess with

The Stuff Part 3 - The Stuff Of Doom

The Stuff had been terrorising the town now for a long time. It seemed no-one could stop it. All hope was gone, until Mad Doctor Hooting-Flurgle came up with a brilliant idea - they could create their own Stuff to kill the Evil Stuff. All the other humans (Albert Froot, Harry Hogwash, and Jimmy Oog) agreed with the idea, and Doc Flurgle got on with it. He put a big pile of green jelly in a bowl, and zapped it with his Magic Wand Of Stuff. The jelly turned into Stuff and went to kill the Evil Stuff.
The Evil Stuff had been watching the humans and knew what to do. He bribed the Good Stuff with a stuff sandwich, and it turned evil! The Humans are doomed!

The Stuff Part 4 - The Stuffy Wars

There was no option left but to declare war on The Stuff. The remaining humans mobilised their forces, and prepared for battle.
The two Stuffs once again took the upper hand, as their superior battle tactics allowed them to outwit the dumb humans.
Harry Hogwash at the head of the human army saw they were losing, and sent his last reinforcements to outflank The Stuffs. This was a good move, and this flanking force managed to kill The Stuff that used to be good.
The original Stuff realised he was now very outnumbered, and that flanking force was closing in for the kill. He turned and fled, pausing only to kill another human with his dreaded Urg-Stuff attack.
The other humans congratulated Harry on his tactical genius, and went home to eat warm Weetabix.
Deep in his new hideout, The Stuff blobbed about a lot, thinking of his next deadly scheme to kill the humans.

The Stuff Part 5 - Total Stuffiness

The humans were overjoyed with their narrow victory in The Stuffy Wars. Albert Froot decided it was best that they went out to hunt for The Stuff while it was weakened. Jimmy Oog, brother of the famous Ozzy Oog, was assigned to lead the attack to The Stuff's den.
Jim sent his scouts into the den, but The Stuff had set lots of traps, and all the scouts were flung into space, where they died.
Jim led his personal retinue into the fray, with support from Bob Boogie's group, with their stuff shooters.
The Stuff leapt to the attack, and killed all of Jim's men. Jim attacked The Stuff with his stuff stabber, and a squidgey battle ensued. Jim was left badly beaten as Bob's men chased The Stuff away.
The Stuff was still alive, and the humans were running out of ways to kill it.

The Stuff Part 6 - The Stuff Strikes Back

For the past few weeks now it had been stalemate. The Stuff had been weakened since the war, but the humans just couldn't kill it, no matter how they tried.
In its 5,746th new den, The Stuff knew the humans were getting closer. He must find a way to turn the tide. Then it came to him - a most devilish plan. He would order a pizza, and have it delivered to the human's base!
That night he followed through with the scheme.
Back at human HQ, new recruit Eddie Von Trout, who had joined up just in his spare time, was playing leap frog with Harry Hogwash when the pizza arrived. The humans were shocked at this, and knew it must be The Stuff upto devious tricks. What could they do to possibly counter this attack?

The Stuff Part 7 - Stuff: Blobbiness

Both The Stuff and the humans were now extremely weak. It seemed that one good attack from either side could end it all for good. Mad Doctor Hooting-Flurgle had spent weeks in his 2 foot by 2 foot laboratory, trying to create a machine that could kill The Stuff, and he had finally done it. It was The Stuff-blob Machine Mark VVIIV. Using a special mixture of hot water and washing up liquid, the Doc was sure it could turn The Stuff into mush.
Meanwhile, in his new hideout, The Stuff had made his own machine. It was a metal fish on wheels, with a big fart gas spray gun sticking out of it's mouth. The stage was set for the final showdown. It would be the battle to end the entire war. Harry Hogwash named it "The Battle With The Big Fishy Smelly Thing In It."

The Stuff Part 8 - THE DEATH OF STUFF

This was it. The final battle. The Stuff sent its fish into battle, and it farted at the humans. Harry Hogwash shouted "URGH" and hit the fish. It fell into lots of little bits, that ants came and nicked for their devilish needs.
It was now time for Doc Flurgle to test his machine. He pointed it at The Stuff and fired. Nothing happened to The Stuff. Then he realised that he couldn't turn The Stuff into mush, because it already was mush. The Stuff snotted on Doc Flurgle, and hit him with a Grob-Blob attack.
It was going The Stuff's way, and all looked lost for the humans.
Just then, an evil giraffe ran past and kicked The Stuff into space. The humans cheered.

The Stuff Part 9 - Stuff In Space

The Stuff had spent many years floating in space. It had been there for many years.
12 million-trillion-yillion years later, The Stuff saw it was near another planet. It swam like a moose through the spacey-type-vacuum, and landed on the planet precisely 12 hours, 13 minutes and 2.6836473 seconds after it first saw the planet.
It nervously squidged across the planet's surface, and saw a five-legged creature, with an elephant's trunk, and dropped down dead with shock.
It was finally the end of The Stuff.
For now, anyway....

Toybitus Web-Comic Index

Episode 1: Monkey Impersonator Episode 2: Not Such A Weird Thing Episode 3: Shut Yer Trap Episode 4: Bob Episode 5: Skeletons In The Closet Episode 6: Turn Of The Jedi Episode 7: Dinomight Episode 8: Grobgut's Revenge Episode 9: Kick Your Ass She Did Hmmm? Episode 10: Egon's Weapon Episode 11: The Dog And The Silly Food Spectrum Episode 12: Bot Hunter Episode 13: Starshrinker Episode 14: Special Team Special Edition Episode 15: The Abduction Of Sir Stip Episode 16: Ooo You Fearsome Beasties Episode 17: That's Just Prime Episode 18: The Onion Episode 19: Baby B.B.C. Episode 20: An Ultra Adventure Episode 21: Eat It Toybitus

Goodbye World

This story was going to go into detail about why contact was lost with the World of LLAP-Goch. Only the first couple of pages of the story were completed, due to laziness.

Read the story (pdf)
See the LLAP-Goch FAQ for an outline of the rest of the story