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8th November 2021: Always Wild. Never Gammy.

Between May 2006 and January 2008 I took part in two large campaigns in the game Rome: Total War, along with a few friends. Calling ourselves the Wild Monkey Generals, we threw our troops against each other in a variety of silly ways in an attempt to kill, slap, annoy, tickle and then maybe eat the opposition...

Wild--Duff-MAN

Wild--Duff-MAN

Wild--Nemishikados

Wild--Nemishikados

Wild--Splapdink

Wild--Splapdink

Wild--Westwood

Wild--Westwood

For some weird reason I thought it was about time I dug out the chronicles of these battles from my old website, and give them a new home here.

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3rd June 2021: Give Yourself To The Dark Side

Over the years, but not for a very long time now, I have tried my hand at writing stories.

Only one of these stories is anywhere near good enough to even allow people to read it. As it is a Star Wars one, it makes sense for it to find a resting place here, in my "Goodbye Star Wars" blog entry.

The story has its roots in the early 2000s, when my friends and I looked at making a Star Wars fan film. Due to technical restraints, mostly from our poor quality MiniDV camcorders, we soon decided the project was beyond us, and I instead began writing some stories, expanding the ideas we had come up with for the film.

I only managed to finish one of the stories, being the one directly translated from the original fan film idea. Some moderate work was done on several of the others that I was planning, which were set both before and after this one in the timeline.

The original story that was finished in 2004 got a big re-write in 2011, which I was much happier with. But though it was always my intention to go back and write the others, I struggled to find the time or motivation. Then in late 2018 I finally admitted defeat and decided to abandon the stories for good. I think this decision was spurred on by Disney wiping out the old continuity, which these stories were set in, and how disappointed I was in the new Star Wars films at the time.

Instead, to put the saga to bed, I scoured through the old notes I made in the mid 2000s and created a basic outline of events that led up to and followed the one completed story. As the outline is based on old ideas, the final stories may have been quite different if I had ever finished writing them.
But now I guess we will never know.

The saga is set in the old Star Wars EU continuity, beginning roughly 15 years after "Return Of The Jedi". It follows the adventures of three young Jedi, from the moment they start their training through to Knighthood and beyond...

Note that all three of the following links go to their own pages.

Before The Dark Side Of Do'Naar (basic outline) The Dark Side Of Do'Naar (full story) After The Dark Side Of Do'Naar (basic outline)


While I'm having this big Star Wars clear out, I thought I'd bring back these images from my old site, which were from just the second MMORPG I ever played.

I played on Star Wars: Galaxies for a few months back in 2007 as the awesome Mon Calamari medic Splapdink McWildpants. I didn't really get up to much, mostly spending my time working through the "introductory" quest called the Legacy Quest, which pretty much got me to level 50 out of 90. Outside of that, I mostly did space missions, and spent a few evenings hanging out and getting killed with my work mate Big Dave.
Even though I didn't play on it for long I was a little sad when I heard it was to close in late 2011.

Here are some pictures from those adventures:

The awesome Splapdink McWildpants begins his training as a Rebel Alliance medic

The awesome Splapdink McWildpants begins his training as a Rebel Alliance medic

Splapdink does an impression of Lando Calrissian

Splapdink does an impression of Lando Calrissian

Short Mon Calamarians really shouldn't stand next to tall Wookiees unless they want to look stupid

Short Mon Calamarians really shouldn't stand next to tall Wookiees unless they want to look stupid

Splapdink, having lost his kin, goes fishing in order to try and find them

Splapdink, having lost his kin, goes fishing in order to try and find them

I didn't realise speeder bikes could travel vertically

I didn't realise speeder bikes could travel vertically

No, I don't have a gold bikini, you strange little fish man. Now get out of here before I fetch security, pervert!

No, I don't have a gold bikini, you strange little fish man. Now get out of here before I fetch security, pervert!

Splapdink dons a Clone Trooper outfit in a vague effort to look the slightest bit hard

Splapdink dons a Clone Trooper outfit in a vague effort to look the slightest bit hard

The narglatch uses the 'hide inside a tree' technique

The narglatch uses the 'hide inside a tree' technique

Splapdink wonders for a moment whether the inside of his helmet has steamed up

Splapdink wonders for a moment whether the inside of his helmet has steamed up

Splapdink's yacht tries to do a USS Voyager impression

Splapdink's yacht tries to do a USS Voyager impression

Some dude levitates without any Force powers. Or the game has messed up again. Hard to tell.

Some dude levitates without any Force powers. Or the game has messed up again. Hard to tell.

And Splapdink thought <i>he</i> was a short-arse

And Splapdink thought he was a short-arse

Now guys, you do realise how totally wrong this dancing is, right?

Now guys, you do realise how totally wrong this dancing is, right?

Splapdink McWildpants. Professional idiot.

Splapdink McWildpants. Professional idiot.

Wrrlykam the Wookiee gives Splapdink the best present in the galaxy: a green Bantha named Bruce

Wrrlykam the Wookiee gives Splapdink the best present in the galaxy: a green Bantha named Bruce

Bruce can't get on the shuttle

Bruce can't get on the shuttle

The brave Rebel pilots argue over who will be the first to attack the very large Star Destroyer

The brave Rebel pilots argue over who will be the first to attack the very large Star Destroyer

Splapdink gets an unwelcome guest at his beachfront apartment

Splapdink gets an unwelcome guest at his beachfront apartment

Splapdink doesn't seem too bothered when informed of all the spiders he is about to meet

Splapdink doesn't seem too bothered when informed of all the spiders he is about to meet

Yet another unexplained levitation

Yet another unexplained levitation

I'm gonna need a bigger boat

I'm gonna need a bigger boat

16th May 2021: I Recognise That Name From Somewhere...

It feels like a very long time since I last brought back something from my old site as an <Old Stuff> entry, so I thought why not bring back this strange little pointless bit of info, with a few added addendums. It's also the first in a new category of blog entries that I'm going to call "Ramblings", where I just write about any old bollocks.

I love characters and names. So much so that I become quite attached to the characters and names I create. I often reuse my faves, and they can be found sprinkled throughout pretty much all of my hobbies.

Many of my often-used names were originally made up for the Star Wars stories I started to write all the way back in 2004. At the time, I was working a very short-lived data entry job, where I had to process all kinds of applications such as catalogue orders. The sheer amount of weird and wonderful names that crossed my desk gave me all kinds of inspiration, and many of my characters have names that were changed, chopped or combined from names I saw doing that job.

Here, you can read about these characters, places or vessels, and where else I may have got their names from. I've also supplied images if I have them.

Gwapstik Snotgumz

Black Orc Gwapstik Snotgumz

Black Orc Gwapstik Snotgumz

Warboss Gwapstik Snotgumz

Warboss Gwapstik Snotgumz

Back in the 1994 version of Blood Bowl, star players could be permanently added to your team roster. Gwapstik Snotgumz was originally the name I made up for my version of Varag Ghoul-Chewer in my Orc team. After I started playing Blood Bowl again in the mid 2000s, one of my Black Orcs has instead used the name. The name is also used for my 40K Ork Warboss, who has his own clan called Gwapstik's Boyz. He also hates the Warlord of my Epic scale Ork army, whose name is Warlord Smashgrot.
I've recently noticed that I sometimes spell the name Gwapstick, which is totally incorrect. I mean, who would even spell it like that? Only an idiot I reckon.

Wilcra Li New / Meja Codan / Macan Vesso

Jedi Knight Macan Vesso

Jedi Knight Macan Vesso

Jedi Knight Meja Codan

Jedi Knight Meja Codan

These three are the main characters from my Star Wars stories. I used a Star Wars name generator along with my mate Krig and my bro JIK, which gave us some names that I then slightly modified for the stories.

The three names were later used as characters in my 40K Space Marine army: Master Wilcran Linus, Chaplain Codan and Captain Macan Vesso. Macan Vesso is also my character on Star Trek Online. He looks a little like a blue-skinned Dracula. The U.S.S. Codan is the name of my long range science vessel on Star Trek Online.

Ja'nalora / Karynna / Andera

Dark Jedi Karynna Andera

Dark Jedi Karynna Andera

Officer Karynna Andera

Officer Karynna Andera

Ja'nalora Andera is one of the supporting characters from my Star Wars stories. She is a Twi'lek Jedi Knight. Her sister Karynna is a villain in those stories. I later stole her name for my Tau Sept in 40K. Ja'nalora and Karynna Andera are two of my officers on Star Trek Online. Ja'nalora is a Trill and Karynna is her half sister. I love the name Ja'nalora, but really can't remember where the hell it came from.
(Pronounced Yar-na-lor-a)

Udré / Vizna

Vizna The Pandaren

Vizna The Pandaren

Farseer Udré Cerna

Farseer Udré Cerna

Udré Vizna is a supporting Jedi in my Star Wars stories. I later used the names for my Xen-Udré Eldar Craftworld in 40K, which is commanded by the powerful Farseer Udré Vizna. Udré Cerna is another Farseer. In my 40K head canon, Udré is a more of a title than a name. I have also used Vizna for my Caitian bridge officer on Star Trek Online, as well as my first ever Pandaren in WoW.
(Pronounced Ud-ray)

The Ashaai & Meiden

Meiden The Blood Elf

Meiden The Blood Elf

Captain Ashaai Tigare

Captain Ashaai Tigare

The Ashaai are a race of white-skinned, white-haired & white-eyed humanoids I made up for my Star Wars stories, of which the character Meiden is a member. I later created World Of Warcraft characters Ashaai and Meiden, who are both pale-skinned Blood Elves. Meiden is my ship's Andorian first officer on Star Trek Online. A couple of years back I named one of my new Space Marine characters Ashaai Tigare.
(Pronounced Ash-eye & May-den)

Kreethen

Company Master Tarl Kreethen

Company Master Tarl Kreethen

Jedi Consular Kreethen

Jedi Consular Kreethen

Tarl Kreethen is a supporting character from my Star Wars stories. I next used the name for my first Worgen in WoW, and modified it to Kreethy for another Worgen when I dipped back into the game many years later. The U.S.S. Kreethen is my star cruiser on Star Trek Online. Kreethen is my dwarf dude in LOTRO. Tarl Kreethen is one of the Company Masters in my W40K Space Marine army. Kreethen is also my Jedi Consular on The Old Republic MMO.

Azra / Neema

Mistress Of Repentance Azra Quistis

Mistress Of Repentance Azra Quistis

Saint Adrianna Neema

Saint Adrianna Neema

Azra Neema is, yes you guessed it, a character I made for my Star Wars stories, where she was the commander of an outpost on Gorek II. I later used the name for a Klingon officer on Star Trek Online. The name has been split up and used for two different characters in my 40K Sisters Of Battle force. Azra Quistis is also named after Quistis from Final Fantasy 8, and Adrianna Neema is also named after the sorceress from Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance.

Mila Jenlo

Jedi Knight Mila Jenlo

Jedi Knight Mila Jenlo

Officer Mila

Officer Mila "Jade" Jenlo

Mila Jenlo was a supporting Jedi character from my Star Wars stories. The name was used again when I started to play Star Trek Online, where I made a character of an unknown species to act as an engineering officer, who was also known as Jade.

Sydor

Captain Airon Sydor

Captain Airon Sydor

Gladiator Vilton Sydor

Gladiator Vilton Sydor

The Sydor family are characters I made for my Star Wars stories. Vilton is the governor of the planet Reejan, while Airon and Airine are his children. I later used the name for my support cruiser on Star Trek Online. And the name has more recently been taken by two brothers from my 40K Space Marine army. Vilton Sydor is also the name of my gladiator character in the MMORPG Final Fantasy 14.

Kaloris

Kaloris Stone Legion Vehicles

Kaloris Stone Legion Vehicles

The U.S.S. Kaloris

The U.S.S. Kaloris

Kaloris first popped up as a minor planet in my Star Wars stories. I later used it for 40K where it became an important star system for one of our campaigns, as well as the place my 40K Imperial Guard Kaloris Stone Legions are from. I also used the name for my Odyssey Star Cruiser in Star Trek Online.

Distor

Legio Distor Warhound Titan

Legio Distor Warhound Titan

The U.S.S. Distor

The U.S.S. Distor

Grace Distor is a minor character in my Star Wars stories. I later stole the name for my Titan Legion in 40K, the Legio Distor. The U.S.S. Distor is the name of my heavy escort starship in Star Trek Online.

Xenia Koza

Officer Xenia Koza

Officer Xenia Koza

Callidus Assassin Xenia Koza

Callidus Assassin Xenia Koza

Xenia Koza was a name I made up to use in my Star Wars stories but never got around to using it. Later, I used the name for a Callidus Assassin from my 40K armies. I also used the name for a human bridge officer in Star Trek Online.
I got her name from actress Xenia Seeberg, a name I always found quite fascinating, though I believe my characters are pronounced quite differently to the actress, as I pronounce it "Zen-eye-a" for my characters.

Terrinak

The U.S.S. Terrinak

The U.S.S. Terrinak

The planet Terrinak

The planet Terrinak

Terrinak is a planet from my Star Wars stories, and the home of the insectoid Garron-Hinn species. It's also what I called my Escort ship on Star Trek Online.

Haran

Commissar Haran Loas

Commissar Haran Loas

Mon Calamari Haran Baska

Mon Calamari Haran Baska

Haran Baska is a Mon Calamari character that I made up for my Star Wars stories. I later used the name for a character in my Imperial Guard 40K army, where Haran Loas is my version of Commissar Yarrick.

Munkfish

Munkfish The Tauren

Munkfish The Tauren

Imperial Agent Munkfish

Imperial Agent Munkfish

Barry Munkfish is a character I made up with some work mates in the mid 2000s for a really silly project we were working on called Wild Land. He was literally the wildest Wild character in the whole project. And you can tell by looking at him, I bet.
I later made a Tauren World Of Warcraft character called Munkfish. Munkfish is the name I gave my Imperial Agent on The Old Republic MMO. The name was stolen from Inspector Monkfish from The Fast Show.

Splapdink

Splapdink McWildpants

Splapdink McWildpants

Splapdink The Forsaken

Splapdink The Forsaken

Wild--Splapdink was my alter-ego when I used to play Rome: Total War with the other Wild Monkey Generals in the mid 2000s. The name was a mistype that we thought was hilarious, though I can't actually remember what I was trying to type at the time. The name appeared again when I started to play Star Wars: Galaxies, with the creation of the Mon Calamari Medic Splapdink McWildpants. Then I created an Undead World Of Warcraft character called Splapdink. Splapdink is my summoner name on League of Legends. Splapperz was also my character name on Planetside 2.

Arquina

The U.S.S. Arquina

The U.S.S. Arquina

Inquisitor Rayne Arquina

Inquisitor Rayne Arquina

Rayne Arquina is my Inquisitor in 40K, with a first name from video game dhampir Rayne. The U.S.S. Arquina is my reconnaissance science vessel on Star Trek Online.
(Pronounced Ar-queen-a)

Gaia Light / Kallisto Blaze

Gaia Light

Gaia Light

Kallisto Blaze

Kallisto Blaze

Gaia and Kallisto are a couple of characters that keep popping up ever since I created them for my Amazon Blood Bowl team. I later used their names for characters I made on Tera Online, and now also use them for my 40K Geminae. Kallisto is also the Draenei Paladin I made on WoW a couple of years back. Kallisto is also my most recent character created in Star Trek Online.

Last updated: August 2024.

10th May 2020: The United States Of My Armies

Since I changed the "feel" of my site last year, these next few pictures have not existed online. However, I want them out there as a method of shaming me into actually pulling my finger out.

These pictures show the state of all my wargaming armies, or at least, how they looked the last time I lined them all up for photos. Not a great deal has changed for most of them, which indicates just how much of a task I still have in front of me in order to get them all done.


Here are my 6mm Epic armies. It's one of my deepest gaming regrets that I have not really shown this game any love for the last decade. I mean, I used to really enjoy playing the old Epic Space Marine, and my later botched attempts at reviving it. Plus, I have so many models, including some Andrayada from Dark Realm Miniatures that I was working on making up my own rules for.

A lot of the models that I have painted for this game were done back in the 1990s, so are really crappy and in dire need of being updated. Therefore nothing is really up to my current standard other than the Khorne and Nurgle parts of my Chaos army, while hopefully the Tyranids will be done at some point sooner rather than later.

Epic Andrayada army<br />Photo taken July 2009

Epic Andrayada army
Photo taken July 2009

Epic Chaos army<br />Photo taken February 2015

Epic Chaos army
Photo taken February 2015

Epic Imperial Guard army<br />Photo taken August 2010

Epic Imperial Guard army
Photo taken August 2010

Epic Ork army<br />Photo taken February 2015

Epic Ork army
Photo taken February 2015

Epic Space Marines army<br />Photo taken March 2018

Epic Space Marines army
Photo taken March 2018

Epic Space Wolves army<br />Photo taken December 2010

Epic Space Wolves army
Photo taken December 2010

Epic Titan Legions army<br />Photo taken December 2010

Epic Titan Legions army
Photo taken December 2010

Epic Tyranids army<br />Photo taken December 2010

Epic Tyranids army
Photo taken December 2010


Here are my 40K armies. I'm further along at getting these painted compared to my Epic armies, but that's not really saying much. All of my Tyranids are done, and the vast majority of my Space Marines. I've just got to paint the other Marines that I added to the army a while back.

That only really leaves 3 armies, though I only count them as 2. All the way back from when I first started to collect them, it has always been my intent for the Eldar and Tau to be one allied army. Of course, as is typical of me, I didn't play anything of 6th or 7th editions, when these two were actually allowed to ally together and were supposed to be quite powerful. But hey, I don't care. If I do get round to using them in 8th I'll probably still throw them together, even if it means losing a lot of their special rules.

I do also have a small number of Orks and Sisters Of Battle, but they're nowhere near full armies, and I don't intend on making them so. Got enough to get through already...

40K Eldar army<br />Photo taken June 2019

40K Eldar army
Photo taken June 2019

40K Imperial Guard army<br />Photo taken April 2011

40K Imperial Guard army
Photo taken April 2011

40K Space Marines army<br />Photo taken August 2018

40K Space Marines army
Photo taken August 2018

40K Tau army<br />Photo taken June 2019

40K Tau army
Photo taken June 2019

40K Tyranids army<br />Photo taken December 2019

40K Tyranids army
Photo taken December 2019


Of my 40K armies that are not yet fully painted, only a few models are even slightly worthy of having their picture taken. And here they are:

Eldar Farseer

Eldar Farseer

Howling Banshees

Howling Banshees

Ork Warboss

Ork Warboss

Imperial Assassins

Imperial Assassins

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