Top
-----
-----
-----
Home > Computer Games > Rome: Total War

Latest News

16th May 2017

Finally got my pointing pictures up and into the Vault. Don't ask me why.

25th April 2017

Opened up a new section all for including stuff about the board game Super Dungeon Explore. There's not much in there yet until my own rules are finished, but hopefully will get some content in there soon.

7th January 2017

V6 reaches its final form, as I've added the right info bar for wider screens, as well as managing to update all the blog posts in fairly rapid time. Had the bright idea to write a script which went through the old blog posts and updated all the image tags for me, so I barely had to do any work in the end.

Latest Blog Entry

You Can Not Be Serious

Rome: Total War

Between May 2006 and January 2008 a selection of semi-insane army generals used their troops against each other in a variety of silly ways in an attempt to kill, slap, annoy, tickle and then maybe eat the opposition...

Season 1: 8th May - 21st August 2006

Season 1 contains 3 generals, who must participate in 25 man-for-man battles. As well as this, they must each fight on their own against both of the other generals 5 times, and therefore team up with another general against a single opponent 10 times.

Wild--Duff-MAN

Wild--Duff-MAN

Wild--Nemishikados

Wild--Nemishikados

Wild--Splapdink

Wild--Splapdink

Libyan Plains Deathmatch - 8th May 06
Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Germany)
Wild--Duff-MAN underestimated Wild--Nemishikados' 49 man Beserker army, and watched as the Germans tore his first attack to pieces. A rightly nervous Wild--Duff-MAN stood back as the rampaging troops moved towards Wild--Splapdink's pikies. They found that a different challenge and the Pontus troops managed to send them to the grave. The remaining Roman and Pontus troops faced off in a battle that ended with Pontus emerging the victors.
Numidian Basin Deathmatch - 8th May 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Germany) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Seleucids)
Wild--Nemishikados let his small Beserker army loose once again and they tore into Wild--Splapdink's army on top of the central hill. Even the Seleucid elephants fell before the Germans were piled on and cut down by weight of numbers. Wild--Splapdink's badly mauled army stood little chance as Wild--Duff-MAN's untouched Romans marched down through the valley and butchered all in their path.
Grassy Flatland Handicap - 11th May 06
Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) & Wild--Nemishikados(Germany)
Wild--Splapdink was the first to brave playing on his own versus an allied army. He deployed way over on his left flank and somehow managed to use his pikies to overpower Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Duff-MAN as they marched towards him.
Grassy Flatland Handicap - 11th May 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) & Wild--Splapdink(Carthage)
A good first attack from Wild--Nemishikados with a host of chariots put the allies on the back foot and in a panic. Luckily the masses of allied pikies pulled it out the bag once again in a slow grind against the British infantry.
Germanic Forest Handicap - 11th May 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Germany) & Wild--Splapdink(Egypt)
Wild--Duff-MAN got off to a great start as his Onagers killed Wild--Splapdink's General then hit two of the Egyptian pike units. Attempting to turn the tide Wild--Splapdink's cavalry were quickly butchered as they attacked Wild--Duff-MAN's pikies from behind. Wild--Nemishikados charged his troops into the Macedonian infantry, and after a gruelling battle his Beserkers forced Wild--Duff-MAN's troops to retreat. A surprise attack from hidden Macedonian cavalry arrived too late to save the day.
Alpine Valley Deathmatch - 15th May 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucids) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Thrace)
Wild--Duff-MAN got stuck in the middle at the top of the hill and was forced to split his army against his opponents as they marched towards him. After the Thracians and Greeks saw off the Seleucids they met at the top of the hill, and the Greek pikies proved the stronger.
Prippet Marshes Deathmatch - 15th May 06
The Greek and Roman armies lie in tatters in the forest

The Greek and Roman armies lie in tatters in the forest

Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucids) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Rome)
In the heavily wooded area Wild--Nemishikados charged Wild--Splapdink, and as their armies cut a bloody swathe through each other Wild--Duff-MAN's Onagers peppered them from afar. When the destruction in the trees was over the Seleucid cavalry and infantry swept in to sort out any survivors.
Grassy Flatland Deathmatch - 15th May 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus)
A strange battle that broke down into 3 smaller fights. Wild--Duff-MAN found his army under attack from both sides as Wild--Splapdink and Wild--Nemishikados sent elements of their armies at his flanks. While those two battles were going on the remaining British and Pontus troops engaged each other over the other side of the battlefield. As the mayhem cooled down there were enough Pontus pikies left to get the job done for Wild--Splapdink.
Sahara Desert Deathmatch - 18th May 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Carthage) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Gauls)
A close and manic battle ended with Wild--Splapdink's remaining troops trying desperately to survive against a much larger Macedon army. They did quite well until Wild--Duff-MAN charged his general in to end all hope of a Gaul victory.
Illyrian Valley Deathmatch - 22nd May 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Carthage) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Rome)
A long and tense match in the trees ended when Wild--Nemishikados butchered Wild--Splapdink's remaining Romans.
Numidian Basin Handicap - 22nd May 06
Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Germany) & Wild--Duff-MAN(Germany)
A surprisingly easy victory for Wild--Splapdink after Wild--Duff-MAN's cavalry attack on the Pontus flanks didn't last long enough for Wild--Nemishikados to get his Beserkers into combat. The Pontus artillery and remaining cavalry were then free to wear down the German madmen.
Germanic Forest Handicap - 22nd May 06
The Seleucids are forced to flee from the masses of Macedonian pikemen

The Seleucids are forced to flee from the masses of Macedonian pikemen

Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Carthage) & Wild--Splapdink(Seleucids)
Wild--Duff-MANs exceptional skill (or luck) with his Onagers helped him to a commanding victory. Right at the start Wild--Splapdink's elephants were took apart by the Macedon artillery, and the allied cavalry and pikies were just not strong enough to fight the vast numbers of Macedon pikies.
Alpine Valley Handicap - 22nd May 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Thrace) & Wild--Splapdink(Gaul)
A very close battle was handed to the allies late on when Wild--Nemishikados retreated despite still having a formidable force of pikies. The battle was close all the way through as Wild--Splapdink and Wild--Duff-MAN tried multiple hit and run attacks to wear down the opposition, often having to give the lives of many of their troops in order to meet an objective. But then just as the battle neared crunch time the Greek general got bored and went down the boozer.
Armenian Mountains Deathmatch - 29th May 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucids) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Dacia)
Once again Wild--Duff-MAN's Onagers did him proud as one of their first shots landed squarely on the head of the Dacian general. The Dacians charged the Seleucids in a bid for revenge but they unable to make much impact on their enemy. Wild--Nemishikados and his Greeks marched in to sort everyone out and take the win.
Moon River Deathmatch - 29th May 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Rome) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Thrace)
The generals met for the first time at the location of a river, hoping they would get to fight over the bridge. However they were all made to deploy on the same side of the river and battle ensued as normal. By the end, Wild--Duff-MAN had kept enough troops alive to fight off his opponents and take the victory.
Greek Shore Deathmatch - 29th May 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucids) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus)
A weird battle in which all three generals had problems getting their troops to do exactly what they wanted them to. Despite deploying the farthest away, Wild--Splapdink marched into the fray and his cavalry began the attack on both fronts. The Seleucids and Greeks both saw off these attacks and entered battle with each other. Meanwhile the Pontus pikemen marched into combat with the Greek pikemen and the big pikey battle ended in a close victory for the Greeks. However, the few survivors were cut down shortly after by the Pontus archers nearby, and the Seleucid surivors were forced to flee by the Pontus general.
British Grassland Deathmatch - 29th May 06
The German Beserkers fight for their lives in the middle of the Roman army

The German Beserkers fight for their lives in the middle of the Roman army

Wild--Nemishikados(Germany) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Gaul)
In a one-off battle and just for a laugh, the generals agreed to up the points by 50%, deploy their troops as far forward as possible, and right at the start charge into the middle for a huge killfest. With so many horses Wild--Splapdink was first to hit the middle and split his army against his opposition. It did not take long for the rampaging Beserkers of Wild--Nemishikados and the large Roman army of Wild--Duff-MAN to make the Gauls run from the battlefield. The Romans and Germans charged into each other to fight for the victory. The superior skill of the Beserkers killed many Romans and forced many more to flee, but in the end the Germans could not cope with the weight of numbers and were butchered. This win means Wild--Duff-MAN is now just a single victory behind Wild--Splapdink.
Grassy Flatland Deathmatch - 12th June 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucid) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus)
In the first action for 2 weeks, the generals met up at the Grassy Flatland for the first of 3 interesting battles. Desperate not to let Wild--Duff-MAN gain any more ground on him, Wild--Splapdink marched into combat with the Seleucids and made a lot of them flee. Thinking the job was done the Pontus troops turned and attacked Wild--Nemishikados, but could do little against the largely untouched army and was destroyed. Wild--Splapdink realised his mistake as a large selection of reformed Seleucid archers began to pepper the remaining Greek pikemen. Thankfully for both Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Splapdink the armour of the Greeks was too strong and the Seleucid troops were beaten.
Southwater Deathmatch - 12th June 06
The Numidian camels and Macedonian horses charge each other

The Numidian camels and Macedonian horses charge each other

Wild--Nemishikados(Numidian) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Spain) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Macedon)
The first time at the area of Southwater also proved entertaining. The area has it all - flats, hills, trees and buildings. The Spanish and Numidian armies split, half going at each other, the other halves both heading at the Macedon army stalking round a central area of trees. The last engagement out of the many that were in this battle came when the groups of Numidian camels faught with the Macedonian pikemen, who held firm to give Wild--Splapdink a pressure relieving victory.
Numidian Basin Deathmatch - 12th June 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Armenia)
As the Armenians marched to the top of the central hill, the Romans and Greeks seemed to take no notice of them and charged headlong into each other instead. When that big scrap was over it took little for the Armenians to mop up the survivors.
Southwater Deathmatch - 26th June 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Rome) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Scythia)
Wild--Splapdink moved his army through the central area of trees and into the small town. The Romans of Wild--Nemishikados marched to meet him and the two armies clashed. Wild--Duff-MAN also moved a lot of his army into the area and a 3-way battle ensued. However the later arrival of Wild--Duff-MAN's army ensured he could overpower his enemies and take the win.
Grassy Flatland Deathmatch - 26th June 06
The great general battle

The great general battle

Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus)
The three armies stood a while, edging forward slightly and seeing which of their enemies would move first. It all kicked off when a great Onager shot from Wild--Duff-MAN wiped out half of one of Wild--Splapdink's pike units. Determined not to let Wild--Duff-MAN win again the Pontus troops all turned and charged headlong at the Macedonians. After a crunching battle which left a lot of the Macedonians fleeing, Wild--Splapdink turned his troops and marched at Wild--Nemishikados, whose full strength army gave him a right royal slap. A lot of the Macedonians had regrouped and they now faced off against the Greeks. Only the Pontus general survived for Wild--Splapdink, and a great battle took place between all three of the generals. The Greek general led by example and cut down his opposition, and his troops did the same to seal the win.
Numidian Basin Deathmatch - 26th June 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus)
For a change the three armies decided to include a fourth CPU controlled enemy to spice things up a bit. In honesty the battle didn't really need it, as right from the start Wild--Nemishikados gathered his entire army and charged Wild--Duff-MAN. The CPU controlled Scythians also marched at Wild--Duff-MAN, and the northern side of the battlefield became a bloodbath. All on their own and over the other side of the battlefield the Pontus troops could do little but march slowly forward, all their artillery slowing them down. Only their horse mounted general charged forward into action against the Scythians and then the Romans. After seeing off the Brits and the Scythians, the mauled Romans could do little against Wild--Splapdink's troops and the action for today again ended even with 1 win each.
Thracian Foothills Deathmatch - 3rd July 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Thrace)
With the Macedonian army deploying far to the south of the battlefield, the other two generals decided not to attack each other to begin with as not to give Wild--Duff-MAN the advantage. The Greeks and Thracians both steadily moved towards the Macedonians until all three armies were in a rough triangle. Then it all kicked off with action all over the place. By the end of the mayhem Wild--Duff-MAN ended up with the advantage anyway, after managing to keep a unit of cavalry pretty much unhurt, and used it to mop up his remaining enemies.
Grassy Flatland Handicap - 3rd July 06
Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) & Wild--Nemishikados(Greece)
In the first handicap match for a while, the allied generals had to pull out some proper tactical moves to overpower Wild--Duff-MAN's large selection of pike units. While Wild--Nemishikados used his force of pikes to challenge the Macedonians, Wild--Splapdink used his cavalry units to get round the back and try to hassle Wild--Duff-MAN into some errors. The most devastating attacks came from the Pontus chariot unit, hitting the Macedonians from behind while they were tied up with the Greeks. It ended with a surprisingly comfortable victory for the allies, and left all three generals with a new respect for chariots.
Grassy Flatland Handicap - 3rd July 06
Wild--Nemishikados(Rome) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) & Wild--Splapdink(Seleucids)
Wild--Duff-MAN decided to use his favoured tactic of standing his ground while pounding the opposition from long range with Onagers and Ballistas, as Wild--Splapdink used his cavalry to get round behind Wild--Nemishikados and make a nuisance of himself. By the time the cavalry was dead, the allies figured they had caused enough damage and charged their foot troops at Wild--Nemishikados. A frumping battle left the Seleucids and the Romans of Wild--Nemishikados in tatters, but large sections of Wild--Duff-MAN's army were still untouched and got the win for the allies.
Grassy Flatland Handicap - 18th July 2006
Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) & Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon)
The outcome of this battle was decided right at the start when Wild--Nemishikados accidentally started the battle without correctly deploying his troops. Seeing the two allied armies standing quite a way away from each other, Wild--Splapdink marched as quickly as he could at Wild--Nemishikados and tried to rough him up before Wild--Duff-MAN could get there to help out. The plan worked well, and the Pontus army was able to pretty much take out the allies one at a time to take the win.
Grassy Flatland Deathmatch - 18th July 2006
Roman assassins desperately try to stem the tide of German Beserkers

Roman assassins desperately try to stem the tide of German Beserkers

Wild--Splapdink(Germany) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome)
Using the move now commonly known as the LEEERRROOOOOOY! Wild--Nemishikados gathered up all his army right at the beginning and charged headlong at Wild--Duff-MAN. Seeing as he had got Beserkers for the first time Wild--Splapdink also liked the idea and followed suit. The three armies frumped each other in a big melee, which ended when most of the Roman army was chased away by the crazy-assed Beserkers while Wild--Nemishikados regrouped his army. When the Romans had gone, the remaining Beserkers were easily run down by the British chariots and killed.
Moon River Deathmatch - 18th July 2006
Wild--Splapdink(Carthage) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Rome) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon)
Thinking it would be a fun move, the generals decided to add another army controlled by the CPU and filled with German Beserkers. Right at the beginning both Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Splapdink had deployed to take on the Germans, but they were not so easily defeated. The crazy warriors roughed up the Romans, and also annihilated four units of Wild--Splapdink's all cavalry army. The remaining Carthaginians charged in to finish them off, but Wild--Duff-MAN had now managed to reach the battle lines and ploughed in to wipe out Wild--Splapdink and take the win.
British Grassland Seige Handicap - 24th July 2006
Macedonian cavalry start the attack through the town gate

Macedonian cavalry start the attack through the town gate

Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) & Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon)
For the first time ever the generals attempted to bring the seige option into their battles. The job of defending the town first fell to Wild--Splapdink. The allies set up together on the western side of the town and Wild--Duff-MAN started peppering the town and the Pontus troops with his Onagers. However only the main gate had been destroyed before Wild--Splapdink's own Onagers had destroyed their Macedon counterparts, and the defending archers had also sorted out Wild--Nemishikados's seige ram. With little choice, the allies poured forth into the gate to try and overpower the defending Pontus pikemen, but the defending troops just held out for the win.
British Grassland Seige Handicap - 24th July 2006
Wild--Duff-MAN(Germany) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Pontus) & Wild--Nemishikados(Britain)
Now it was Wild--Duff-MAN's turn to defend the town, and seeing the mistake the allied generals had made last time, Wild--Splapdink took plenty of seige rams and Onagers and proceeded to smash holes all along the town walls. Though this seemed like a good idea at first, it could have quickly gone the other way as many units of rampaging Beserkers then came charging out from several locations. The British chariots swept into action, destracting and destroying as many of the crazy German fruitloops as possible. The Pontus and British troops made it into the town centre and took the flag with little resistance, the only worry now whether they could hold it as the rampaging Beserkers came back into the town after killing whatever troops they had been pursuing earlier. The Pontus archers and peasants did a total Leeroy at the Germans to try and hold them back, and were almost completely wiped out until the British chariots and troops joined the fray and the allies got the win.
British Grassland Seige Handicap - 24th July 2006
Macedon Onagers open fire on the fort's defenders

Macedon Onagers open fire on the fort's defenders

Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) & Wild--Splapdink(Seleucids)
Rather than defend a town like the other generals had chosen to, Wild--Nemishikados instead chose a fort. The smaller settlement offered little hiding places as the many Onagers of Wild--Duff-MAN rained flaming death. Rather than march out with his very hard pikemen, Wild--Nemishikados instead decided to wait for a charge that didn't come, the allies deciding to use all their ammunition to wear down the defenders as much as they could. By the time the ammo supplies were low, Wild--Nemishikados decided he had had enough and retreated, handing victory to the allies.
Sarmation Mound Deathmatch - 31st July 2006
The three-way archer duel

The three-way archer duel

The three-way archer duel

The three-way archer duel

Wild--Nemishikados(Rome) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Scythia)
A rather strange battle which ended up being decided by archers. At the beginning the Scythian archers got to the top of the hill while their cavalry went to annoy both opposing armies and ended up very dead. The Macedonians marched up the hill led by their pikies, frumping most of the Scythians and moving towards the Romans. Through weight of fire and use of cavalry the Romans managed to defeat the pike units and all three armies were left with a few archer units each. At the end of the battle it was the Romans who were left standing.
Macedonian Ruins Deathmatch - 31st July 2006
Pontus and Seleucid pikies battle it out to the death

Pontus and Seleucid pikies battle it out to the death

Wild--Nemishikados(Pontus) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucids) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Spain)
A fairly manic three way scrap developed as Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Splapdink both moved to attack Wild--Duff-MAN and also ended up fighting each other on the way. The Spanish troops were defeated in short order, and it boiled down to a single Pontus pike unit facing off against two Seleucid pike units backed up by some archers. Though the Pontus troops fought bravely they were too outnumbered and Wild--Duff-MAN got the win.
Syrian Flats Deathmatch - 7th August 2006
The three armies march at each other...

The three armies march at each other...

...and chaos ensues

...and chaos ensues

Wild--Nemishikados(Rome) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Rome)
An absolutely gruelling battle kicked it off today, as the three generals marched their armies towards the center of the battlefield, triggering a huge 3 way scrap. By the end of the mayhem, a couple of Wild--Splapdink's beat-up Roman units sat between the other two armies remaining archers, but no matter how they tried, the archers couldn't beat the Legionaries tough armour. After a very long time of units chasing each other around the map, the battle finally came to a close when Wild--Nemishikados ran out of ammo and charged Wild--Splapdink's remaining 7 men, but the Legionaries held on to take the win.
Cilician Hills Deathmatch - 7th August 2006
Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Rome) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Thrace)
Things looked bad at the start of this one for the Thracians, as Wild--Nemishikados Leeroyed from the East, and Wild--Duff-MAN began his usual Onager bombardment from the West. However a counter-Leeroy by the masses of Thracian cavalry stopped the Brits in their tracks, and the Thracian Onagers had good fortune in taking out their Roman counterparts. As Wild--Nemishikados gathered himself for another attack, Wild--Duff-MAN sent his infantry in, destroying the pitiful remnants of the Thracian cavalry, but Wild--Splapdink's archers somehow pulled it out of the bag by causing enough casualties on all their enemies to make them run away. Only now with 4 battles left has Wild--Splapdink finally got his grubby mits on the season 1 title, though victory in all 4 remaining battles for Wild--Nemishikados can pull him up to equal points with Wild--Duff-MAN.
Grassy Flatland Deathmatch - 14th August 2006
Wild--Nemishikados(Greece) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Macedon) Vs Wild--Splapdink(Parthia)
In the last Deathmatch of the season Wild--Nemishikados deployed offensively and marched straight at Wild--Duff-MAN. The Parthians and their groovy armoured camels were quick to join in but not even their insanely bright pink armour could help them and they were swiftly defeated. It ended up with the last few Greek pikemen facing impossible odds against a horde of Macedonian archers, and there was only one outcome, cementing Wild--Duff-MAN's second place in the table.
Sarmation Mound Handicap - 14th August 2006
The blue wave

The blue wave

Wild--Duff-MAN(Greece) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) & Wild--Splapdink(Rome)
At the start of the battle the allied plan was thrown into chaos as Wild--Duff-MAN surprised them by deploying far to the western side of the battlefield. As the Brits and Romans began their long march to the enemy, Wild--Nemishikados sent some chariots to hassle Wild--Duff-MAN. These chariots then came under attack from both the Greek Onagers and nearby archers who were hiding in the trees. Things were looking quite bad for the allies until Wild--Duff-MAN decided to break his formation and march out to meet his opponents, rather than continue to bombard them from afar. This move allowed the Roman infantry to engage the first rank of Greek pikies, while giving the British horses and chariots room to get in behind and make a nuisance of themselves within the now staggered Greek lines. The battle was close and went right down to the wire, but the allies were eventually able to wear down the Greeks after massive casualties on both sides. Great game.
Grassy Flatland Handicap - 21st August 2006
The Numidians falter under heavy Egyptian archer fire

The Numidians falter under heavy Egyptian archer fire

Wild--Nemishikados(Numidia) Vs Wild--Duff-MAN(Egypt) & Wild--Splapdink(Egypt)
The first of two explosive final games to the season kicked off as Wild--Nemishikados gathered his army and charged headlong into Wild--Splapdink's masses of cavalry and completely annihilated them as they tried to protect Wild--Duff-MAN's artillery. But the Egyptian allies had the last laugh. Attempting to take out Wild--Splapdink's last 2 pike units the Numidian general fell. At the same time, Wild--Duff-MAN's rows of archers were unloading dozens of flaming arrows into the Numidians, causing panic in their ranks. In the blink of an eye the game had turned and Wild--Nemishikados watched in vain as his army turned and legged it.
Syrian Flats Handicap - 21st August 2006
Wild--Splapdink(Germany) Vs Wild--Nemishikados(Britain) & Wild--Duff-MAN(Seleucids)
Wild--Splapdink had to move fast to have any chance in this one, as Wild--Duff-MAN's masses of Onagers and archers began their attack from the start. The German army charged forward into combat, and a few bloody minutes later somehow the allied army had been crippled and routed, while a lot of the German army remained. Nobody was more surprised at that than Wild--Splapdink.

Season 1 Table & Stats

Generals receive 1 point for each deathmatch or team victory, but are awarded double points if they are able to win one of their single games against both other generals.

Name Deathmatch (1v1v1) Single (1v2) Team (2v1) Points (/55) Rating (%)
W L W L W L
Wild--Splapdink 8 17 5 0 9 1 27 49
Wild--Duff-MAN 10 15 1 4 5 5 17 31
Wild--Nemishikados 7 18 0 5 4 6 11 20

And here's a sad pointless table that tells us stuff :

Wild--Splapdink Wild--Duff-MAN Wild--Nemishikados
W L W L W L
Armenians 1 0 0 0 0 0
Britons 0 0 0 0 3 5
Carthage 1 1 0 0 1 2
Dacians 0 1 0 0 0 0
Egypt 2 0 1 0 0 0
Gaul 1 2 0 0 0 0
Germans 1 1 0 2 1 5
Greeks 0 0 0 1 5 9
Macedon 1 0 7 7 0 0
Numidians 0 0 0 0 0 2
Parthia 0 1 0 0 0 0
Pontus 10 2 0 0 0 1
Rome 2 2 5 8 1 5
Scythians 0 2 0 0 0 0
Seleucids 2 2 2 5 0 0
Spanish 0 1 0 1 0 0
Thracians 1 3 1 0 0 0

Season 2: 5th March 2007 - 3rd January 2008

In season 2 the original three Wild Monkey generals will be met by new opposition in the form of Wild--Westwood.
In season 2, the 4 generals must participate in 16 man-for-man deathmatches. Aswell as this, there will be 9 2v2 team battles. Each general will team up with each of the other generals 3 times.

Wild--Duff-MAN

Wild--Duff-MAN

Wild--Nemishikados

Wild--Nemishikados

Wild--Splapdink

Wild--Splapdink

Wild--Westwood

Wild--Westwood

Season 2 kicked off in pure style on 5th March 2007...

Grassy Flatlands Deathmatch - 5th March 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Rome)
Wild--Nemishikados (Britain)
Wild--Splapdink (Pontus)
Wild--Westwood (Parthia)
Wild--Nemishikados decided to live up to his season 1 reputation, and charged headlong at Wild--Duff-MAN with his whole army. Meanwhile, Wild--Splapdink found new general Wild--Westwood up to the challenge and the two roughed it up. On the eastern side of the battlefield Wild--Nemishikados' Leeroy attack was routed with surprisingly little trouble by Wild--Duff-MAN, and the Roman troops marched across the battlefield to catch the Pontus pikemen in a dangerous crossfire between themselves and the Parthian army. As the last Pontus soldier fell, the remaining Romans and Parthians slugged it out for the win, with the Romans emerging victorious.
Southwater Deathmatch - 5th March 2007
The Macedonians slaughter the Gauls...

The Macedonians slaughter the Gauls...

...but can't quite match the Greeks

...but can't quite match the Greeks

Wild--Duff-MAN (Macedon)
Wild--Nemishikados (Greece)
Wild--Splapdink (Gaul)
Wild--Westwood (Carthage)
Wild--Nemishikados was once again the first to move, marching towards the southern position of Wild--Westwood and unleashing the very powerful Greek pikies on him. Meanwhile, Wild--Duff-MAN caught Wild--Splapdink off guard as the Gauls attempted to set up an ambush in the central trees.
The Macadonian cavalry were followed in by their pikemen and the Gauls were slaughtered. Wild--Nemishikados marched his victorious troops to meet the Macadonian survivors and a true clash of pikemen took place. This time the Macadonians were forced back, leaving the Greeks the simple task of mopping up one rallied unit of Gaul archers to take the win.
Sahara Desert Deathmatch - 5th March 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN's general fights for his life

Wild--Duff-MAN's general fights for his life

Wild--Duff-MAN (Rome)
Wild--Nemishikados (Greece)
Wild--Splapdink (Thrace)
Wild--Westwood (Rome)
Wild--Splapdink found himself in all kinds of trouble at the beginning, as Wild--Nemishikados' small but elite Greek army marched at him from one side, and Wild--Duff-MAN's Onagers opened fire on him from the other. The Greeks soon smashed one flank of the Thracian army, forcing them into a rapid redeployment. With a little help from some of Wild--Duff-MAN's cavalry, the Greeks were defeated, though they left little surviving of the Thracian army or the Roman cavalry.
Soon after, Wild--Westwood made his move, sending his largely untouched army to cripple the opposing Roman faction. While this battle was going on, Wild--Splapdink tried in vain to sneak up on Wild--Westwood's general with his remaining troops, but the new Wild Monkey was having none of it and charged the Thracian units from 3 sides.
Now only Wild--Duff-MAN's general stood in the way of Wild--Westwood's first win. The general put up a valiant fight, then nearly escaped before being brought down by javelin fire.
Nordic Woodland Deathmatch - 5th March 2007
The Scythian cavalry try to turn the tide against the Greeks

The Scythian cavalry try to turn the tide against the Greeks

Wild--Duff-MAN (Scythia)
Wild--Nemishikados (Greece)
Wild--Splapdink (Pontus)
Wild--Westwood (Dacia)
It seems nobody escapes the wrath of Wild--Nemishikados and his Greek pikemen, and this time Wild--Duff-MAN felt the brunt of their attack.
While the Scythians tried in vain to combat the Greeks, across the other side of the battlefield Wild--Splapdink tried to flush the Dacian army out of hiding in a large patch of forest. Pontus chariots were first to engage the Dacians, but were defeated and fell back. A large messy scrap then came about between the Pontus pikemen and the Dacian infantry, deep in the forest. The Pontus troops emerged victorious, and marched out of the woods and into combat with the surviving Greek pikemen, fresh from their victory over the Scythians. Through weight of numbers the Pontus troops managed to win the day, but not before the Greeks had felled the Pontus general.
Numidian Basin Team Battle - 12th March 2007
Pontus and Gaul massacre the remaining Greeks

Pontus and Gaul massacre the remaining Greeks

Wild--Duff-MAN (Greece) & Wild--Nemishikados (Greece)
Wild--Splapdink (Pontus) & Wild--Westwood (Gaul)
The deployment from most of the generals was more than a little bit wild, with only Wild--Splapdink deploying front and center. Out on the west flank, Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Westwood clashed pikies versus cavalry. Meanwhile, Wild--Splapdink and Wild--Nemishikados clashed in a large battle of pikies. The Pontus troops emerged victorious through sheer weight of numbers.
Wild--Duff-MAN was having trouble catching the Gaul cavalry, and when Wild--Splapdink marched over to join in, the Gaul and Pontus troops pounced on the Greeks from all angles and massacred them.
Alpine Valley Team Battle - 12th March 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Rome) & Wild--Splapdink (Rome)
Wild--Nemishikados (Germany) & Wild--Westwood (Seleucid)
The battle started with Wild--Splapdink's cavalry units making their way behind the German army and grabbing the attention of the crazy berserkers. For the next few minutes, the berserkers would be a little distracted chasing the cavalry all the way to the far corner of the battlefield before catching up with them and killing them.
Wild--Westwood marched his units down the hill into battle with Wild--Duff-MAN's troops and the two armies roughed each other up. Wild--Splapdink's Cohorts ran across to help out and the Romans together forced back the Seleucids. Shortly after, the German archers rained down fire on Wild--Duff-MAN's remaining troops and broke their morale, but even the returning berserkers could not save the day, as Wild--Splapdink's mostly untouched Cohorts held on for the win.
Nile Bridge Team Battle - 12th March 2007
The Egyptian and Macedonian allies surge forth over the bridge

The Egyptian and Macedonian allies surge forth over the bridge

Wild--Westwood (Macedonia) & Wild--Duff-MAN (Egypt)
Wild--Nemishikados (Greece) & Wild--Splapdink (Gaul)
The Greek and Gaul cavalry units missed their split-second chance to get across the bridge before Wild--Westwood's pikemen were able to move into position at the other side. The Greek pikemen made their way across to try and punch a hole through, as archer fire was exchanged by both sides. Wild--Duff-MAN's Onagers added their weight to the contest, and the Greek and Gaul troops were under pressure. Things did not go as planned on the bridge. The Greek pike units failed to get into phalanx formation and were easily defeated. With little to stop them the Macedonians and Egyptians were able to force their way across the bridge as their enemy's cavalry units fell back.
By using hit and run tactics the Greeks and Gauls were able to take out a couple of pike units, but the win was never really in doubt for Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Westwood. The Egyptian chariots came streaming over the bridge to put an end to any resistance.
Pontic Peaks Deathmatch - 12th March 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Seleucid)
Wild--Nemishikados (Rome)
Wild--Splapdink (Carthage)
Wild--Westwood (Parthia)
Wild--Nemishikados got a taste of his own medicine as Wild--Westwood gathered his troops and pulled off a Leeroy attack. The Romans seemed to be completely overwhelmed by such a show of bright pink force and were soon sent running from the battlefield. Meanwhile the Seleucids and the Carthaginians clashed, first with their elephants, then with their Onagers. As Wild--Westwood approached, the Seleucids peeled away from the Carthage troops and attacked the Parthians instead. The battle ended in a 3 way fight on top of the hill, with the Carthage spearmen managing to hold on against the Parthian and Seleucid archer units.
Grassy Flatlands Deathmatch - 19th March 2007
The Romans face off against the Seleucids to decide the battle

The Romans face off against the Seleucids to decide the battle

Wild--Duff-MAN (Seleucid)
Wild--Nemishikados (Britain)
Wild--Splapdink (Rome)
Wild--Westwood (Egypt)
Right at the start Wild--Nemishikados gathered all of his chariots and charged headlong at Wild--Duff-MAN's troops. The Seleucids held firm however and were able to fight off the British invasion. Meanwhile a long drawn out and scrappy conflict was taking place between the Egyptians and the Romans. Eventually the Romans were able to wear down their adversaries. The remaining Seleucid pikemen then did battle with the remaining Roman Legionary Cohorts, and the Romans were able to force the victory.
Southwater Deathmatch - 19th March 2007
The Spanish and Dacian armies mix it up in a field

The Spanish and Dacian armies mix it up in a field

Wild--Duff-MAN (Germania)
Wild--Nemishikados (Dacia)
Wild--Splapdink (Parthia)
Wild--Westwood (Spain)
An absolute rip-roaring battle kicked off as the entire Spanish and Dacian armies attacked each other in a corn field.
The Germans and Parthians had to move a long way before they could get into combat. Once the Germans under the control of Wild--Duff-MAN joined in though, people knew about it. The berserkers tore into the remaining victorious Dacians, as the German cavalry butchered the Parthian camels. The final battles took place in and around the central trees as the Parthians failed to handle the German berserkers and Wild--Duff-MAN took the win.
Sahara Desert Deathmatch - 19th March 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Greece)
Wild--Nemishikados (Rome)
Wild--Splapdink (Britain)
Wild--Westwood (Seleucid)
Determined to prove that the British army was capable of putting up a fight, Wild--Splapdink took up arms against Wild--Duff-MAN's Greeks. A tense battle followed that looked like it could have gone either way. That is, until the awesome Greek pikemen joined in and stomped all over the faces of the Brits.
Across the other side of the battlefield Wild--Westwood and Wild--Nemishikados fought a long gruelling battle leaving both their armies in tatters. At the end, they both turned their remaining troops against the far greater numbers of the Greeks, but nothing left on the battlefield was capable of standing up to those pikemen and Wild--Duff-MAN got another win.
At the end of this Deathmatch Section (which is very almost nearly halfway through the season) Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Splapdink lead the way with 5 wins each. Wild--Westwood is on 3 wins, and Wild--Nemishikados has 1.

Unfortunately, between March and December, the generals found it difficult to all be available at the same time and with active internet connections. Those times it happened, the crappy login server powered by Gamespy did not always allow them to log into the game. It wasn't until 19th December, after many weeks organizing and many internet provider changes, that things continued...

Alpine Valley Team Battle - 19th December 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Rome) & Wild--Nemishikados (Germania)
Wild--Splapdink (Rome) & Wild--Westwood (Rome)
Wild--Westwood deployed some way away from his ally, leaving Wild--Splapdink staring at the prospect of facing most of the opposing armies at the same time. However, it took Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Nemishikados a bit too long to get their act together, giving Wild--Westwood the chance to come charging across the battlefield and into the fight. Most troops ended up in a big ruck in the middle of the battlefield, while horses and archers fought little skirmishes around them. The main fight ended when all the surviving allied Romans surrounded the surviving Beserkers and overwhelmed them. The battle came to a close when Wild--Splapdink hunted down Wild--Duff-MAN's stealthed Arcani troops, while Wild--Westwood took down the opposing Roman general.
Nile Bridge Team Battle - 19th December 2007
Egyptian archers add their firepower to the attack as their allies try and cross the bridge

Egyptian archers add their firepower to the attack as their allies try and cross the bridge

Wild--Duff-MAN (Egypt) & Wild--Splapdink (Pontus)
Wild--Nemishikados (Greece) & Wild--Westwood (Seleucid)
Both teams had the same idea: block off the bridge with pikemen and bombard the crap out of the opposition with long range Onagers and archers. The battle quickly became a tense bloodbath, as artillery made short work of opposing infantry. Both teams took it in turns trying to force their way across the bridge, with pikemen and chariots trying desperate attempts as flaming ammunition rained down around them.
Eventually, after tremendous casualties on both sides, Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Splapdink managed to force their way across the bridge, and once that happened the battle came to a swift and bloody close.
Numidian Basin Team Battle - 19th December 2007
Wild--Westwood (Armenia) & Wild--Duff-MAN (Seleucid)
Wild--Nemishikados (Rome) & Wild--Splapdink (Thrace)
Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Westwood deployed their armies away from the front lines in a defensive formation, forcing their more aggressively deployed enemies into coming to them. Wild--Splapdink sent his cavalry to harass the eastern flank of Wild--Duff-MAN as best they could, but a combined cavalry counter attack from both the Seleucids and the Armenians saw them defeated. Shortly after, the Roman cavalry sounded a head-on charge against the opposite Armenian flank, hastily supported by the Thracian pikemen and archers. The attacking forces were beaten back in short order, leaving the unengaged Roman infantry with an almost impossible task. Nevertheless, they charged into battle with whatever friendly units still survived on the battlefield. However, the Armenian spearmen and Seleucid pikemen had little trouble mopping up to take the win.
Nordic Woodland Deathmatch - 27th December 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Rome)
Wild--Nemishikados (Britannia)
Wild--Splapdink (Numidia)
Wild--Westwood (Seleucid)
In the first of a battle marathon on this day, Wild--Westwood clashed with Wild--Duff-MAN, as the other two generals mashed each other's armies up. The two battles left Wild--Westwood and Wild--Nemishikados victorious, though the Seleucids had a commanding array of pikemen remaining, while the Britons had few troops left. As the two remaining forces clashed, Wild--Splapdink tried to use his last unit of camels who had been hiding in the nearby trees to attack the Seleucids, but they were easily defeated. Wild--Westwood took the win.
Pontic Peaks Deathmatch - 27th December 2007
The Macedonians beat back the Roman attack

The Macedonians beat back the Roman attack

The last few Gaul archers come under pressure from German flaming arrows

The last few Gaul archers come under pressure from German flaming arrows

Wild--Duff-MAN (Gaul)
Wild--Nemishikados (Germania)
Wild--Splapdink (Rome)
Wild--Westwood (Macedon)
Wild--Westwood's massive army dominated the top of the mountainside. Seeing it as a challenge, Wild--Splapdink foolishly marched his army headlong straight at them, as the Gauls manoeuvred to take on the Germans. After a long battle the pikemen of Macedon got the better of the Roman soldiers, though not without taking hefty casualties.
Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Duff-MAN had also pretty much crippled each other's armies. It was here that the last few remaining German units formed an uneasy alliance with the last Gaul archer unit to take down the remaining Macedonians. At the end of that clash, Wild--Westwood was defeated, leaving his opponents with just a few archers each. The more numerous Germans were able to force the win over the more skillful Gauls.
Grassy Flatlands Deathmatch - 27th December 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Macedon)
Wild--Nemishikados (Carthage)
Wild--Splapdink (Seleucid)
Wild--Westwood (Greece)
Wild--Nemishikados deployed to charge into the flank of Wild--Westwood, as Wild--Splapdink moved to attack Wild--Duff-MAN's Macedonians. A flaming Onager shot took out the Carthaginian general, sending his elephant unit into a rampage. Shortly after, the Greeks had defeated the Carthaginians, and moved to join in the other battle developing across the battlefield. Wild--Splapdink found himself caught in between both advancing armies and was defeated. The Macedonians and Greeks clashed with their remaining troops to decide the winner, with Wild--Duff-MAN coming out on top.
Southwater Deathmatch - 27th December 2007
The defensive Germans

The defensive Germans

Wild--Duff-MAN (Egypt)
Wild--Nemishikados (Germania)
Wild--Splapdink (Pontus)
Wild--Westwood (Spain)
A mental battle with a host of different clashes was the last deathmatch of the day. The Germans deployed defensively, with Wild--Nemishikados daring the other generals to attack him.
Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Splapdink answered the call, marching their armies towards the Germans. The Egyptians were the first to engage them, though the Germans got the better of the early skirmishes. Before Wild--Duff-MAN could launch a full attack, Wild--Westwood charged at the Egyptians from behind and slaughtered them. Wild--Splapdink's army had at last managed to get through the trees and they launched themselves into combat with the Germans, beating them back before turning to face the approaching Spanish warriors. The Bull Warriors could not match the Pontus pikies and were also defeated. The last few Germans had withdrawn to the forests, and the Pontus troops had to go after them to get the win.
Nile Bridge Team Battle - 27th December 2007
Wild--Duff-MAN (Egypt) & Wild--Nemishikados (Germania)
Wild--Splapdink (Pontus) & Wild--Westwood (Seleucid)
Both teams started with the usual tactic of long range attacks, blocking off their side of the bridge with pikemen. Twice the Germans and Egyptians withdrew from the bridge, trying to get out of range of their opponent's artillery. Both times the Seleucids and Pontus troops tried to force their way over the bridge, but both times were pounced upon by their enemies before they could get their attacking forces organized. When the German and Egyptian cavalry came over the bridge there was nothing to oppose them and they took a comfortable win.
Numidian Basin Team Battle - 27th December 2007
The final battle takes place

The final battle takes place

Wild--Duff-MAN (Seleucid) & Wild--Splapdink (Pontus)
Wild--Nemishikados (Egypt) & Wild--Westwood (Armenia)
Both teams skirmished for some time using their cavalry. As the skirmishing continued, the Egyptians and Armenians moved forward, claiming the top of the mound. Meanwhile, Wild--Splapdink's general fell to his own chariots, who were running amok due to earlier fighting. There was soon little else for it but a full confrontation.
The Pontus and Seleucid armies had plenty of pikemen left, but their opponents were no pushover. The Armenian spearmen made shortwork of the Pontus pikemen, and the Egyptians had chariots left over to get behind their Seleucid opponents. It was a crushing defeat for Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Splapdink.
Alpine Valley Team Battle - 27th December 2007
The Egyptians and Macedonians try desperately to fight the Greeks

The Egyptians and Macedonians try desperately to fight the Greeks

Wild--Westwood (Greece) & Wild--Duff-MAN (Seleucid)
Wild--Nemishikados (Egypt) & Wild--Splapdink (Macedon)
The Egyptian and Macedonian cavalry set off to try and hassle their opponents, but could do little other than be a mild annoyance. It was a slow, tense and tactical battle as Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Splapdink struggled to decide how to take out Wild--Westwood's army which consisted entirely of the very hard Greek pikemen, with cover from Wild--Duff-MAN's army which was all Onagers and cavalry. As the battle drew on the Seleucids had been weakened but the entire Greek army still stood, despite a lucky Onager shot from Wild--Splapdink which took out their general.
It would all come down to whether the more numerous Egyptian and Macedonian infantry could put up a fight against the Greek pikemen, but they could not.
These 7 battles saw Wild--Nemishikados quadruple his win total for the season with some good form, while Wild--Splapdink's poor form in the team battles saw him drop back into joint second with Wild--Westwood, and Wild--Duff-MAN took a commanding 2 win lead with just 4 deathmatches remaining.
Sahara Desert Deathmatch - 3rd January 2008
Wild--Duff-MAN (Seleucid)
Wild--Nemishikados (Rome)
Wild--Splapdink (Parthia)
Wild--Westwood (Rome)
The battle got under way with a few skirmishes and long range shots, before as Wild--Westwood and Wild--Duff-MAN got down to the rough stuff, as Wild--Splapdink moved towards the forces of Wild--Nemishikados. The Seleucid army was turned away by Wild--Westwood, as the all mounted Parthian army circled Wild--Nemishikados' Romans, trying to find weaknesses. With one opponent already crushed, Wild--Westwood marched his army towards the other two, and a 3-way fight ensued. When the desert dust settled, Wild--Nemishikados had kept enough troops alive early on to fight off both other armies and take the win.
Nordic Woodland Deathmatch - 3rd January 2008
Wild--Duff-MAN (Dacia)
Wild--Nemishikados (Rome)
Wild--Splapdink (Gaul)
Wild--Westwood (Seleucid)
Similar to the previous battle, Wild--Duff-MAN and Wild--Westwood squared off against one another, as Wild--Nemishikados and Wild--Splapdink moved into position. The Gauls moved through the central trees and into combat with the Seleucids, who had just turned away the majority of the Dacian forces. The Gauls were ambushed from behind, first by one unit of Romans, then by several units of Dacians, who had all been cleverly hiding in the central trees. By the time the main Roman force arrived into the action there was little left of any opposition and they took an easy win.
This result meant Wild--Duff-MAN was at least guaranteed joint 1st place. Only Wild--Westwood or Wild--Splapdink could match him by winning both remaining matches.
Pontic Peaks Deathmatch - 3rd January 2008
The Macedonians make short work of their Pontus rivals

The Macedonians make short work of their Pontus rivals

Wild--Duff-MAN (Rome)
Wild--Nemishikados (Rome)
Wild--Splapdink (Pontus)
Wild--Westwood (Macedon)
Once again Wild--Westwood clashed with Wild--Duff-MAN, as Wild--Splapdink and Wild--Nemishikados marched at each other. In both cases, the Roman armies could not cope with the powerful pikemen of their opponents. Wild--Nemishikados army went into full retreat, and Wild--Duff-MAN could only muster a handful of units after his clash with the Macedonians. It would all come down to a pikeman rumble on top of the central hill, as the Pontus and Macedonian troops marched at each other to decide the battle.
Once battle was joined, it did not take long to see that the Pontus army was being outclassed. Their morale broke and they fled, leaving Wild--Westwood a simple task of mopping up the surviving Romans to take an important win.
Grassy Flatlands Deathmatch - 3rd January 2008
The Egyptian artillery desperately tries to weaken the approaching Greek pikemen

The Egyptian artillery desperately tries to weaken the approaching Greek pikemen

Wild--Duff-MAN (Egypt)
Wild--Nemishikados (Germania)
Wild--Splapdink (Seleucid)
Wild--Westwood (Greece)
After a comical start to the battle during which Wild--Westwood sacrificed his peasants against the spears of a defensively deployed German army, things got much more serious. Wild--Splapdink marched most of his army towards the forces of Wild--Westwood. After some inital confusion caused by the Seleucid chariots, it was not a difficult task for Wild--Westwood to lay waste to the attacking army. Meanwhile, the Germans broke out of their defensive position, tired of being attacked by the Egyptian Onagers. However, once in combat the Egyptians took the upper hand and the German army was turned away in panic. As the Greeks approached, the Egyptians tried to use their remaining ammo to weaken their pike units, but failed to score hits.
The few combat units of the Egyptians could not put up a great fight, but Wild--Duff-MAN had plenty of archers remaining with which to rain arrows down on his enemy. It was at this time that Wild--Splapdink pulled a sneaky and attacked with several units that had somehow managed to remain hidden in long grass for the entire game. Suddenly surrounded and under fire, the Greek pikemen were finally defeated. The surviving Seleucid infantry then descended on the Egyptian archers, who held out for a good while before finally falling.
With the last battle out of the way Wild--Duff-MAN was confirmed season 2 champion, with Wild--Westwood and Wild--Splapdink joint 2nd just one win behind.

Season 2 Tables & Stats

Pos Name Deathmatch (1v1v1v1) Team (2v2) Total Wins (/25)
W L W L
1st Wild--Duff-MAN 4 12 6 3 10
=2nd Wild--Splapdink 5 11 4 5 9
=2nd Wild--Westwood 3 13 6 3 9
4th Wild--Nemishikados 4 12 2 7 6

And here's some sad pointless tables that tell us stuff :

Wild--Duff-MAN Wild--Nemishikados Wild--Splapdink Wild--Westwood
W L W L W L W L
Armenia 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0
Britannia 0 0 0 3 0 1 0 0
Carthage 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1
Dacia 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1
Egypt 3 2 1 1 0 0 0 1
Gaul 0 1 0 0 0 3 1 0
Germania 1 0 2 4 0 0 0 0
Greece 1 1 1 5 0 0 1 2
Macedon 1 1 0 0 0 1 2 1
Numidia 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0
Parthia 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 2
Pontus 0 0 0 0 4 4 0 0
Rome 2 4 2 4 3 1 2 1
Scythia 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0
Seleucid 2 4 0 0 1 1 1 5
Spain 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2
Thrace 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0

Win / Loss Chart DM1 TB1 DM2 TB2 DM3 TB3 DM4
Wild--Duff-MAN                                
Wild--Splapdink                                
Wild--Westwood                                
Wild--Nemishikados                                

With the season finally out of the way, the generals decided to live up to their Wild name and have a crazy one-off friendly battle where all four armies must do a total Leeroy into the middle of the battlefield...

After the big brawl in the blizzard, Wild--Westwood's elephants and hordes of peasants pulled out the win.